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Latest News and Blog Posts from Wayne “Pendragon” Owens.
Sys.Admin you Long Time. 10 dollar
a.k.a Freelance Whoring
A customer of where I work, who we will in the trend of this blog call “RedBack“, emailed me last night, unofficially and off the record. So its good I am protecting their identity :0)
This customer has a server, but no Sys.Admin to look after it, and in the years its been in use its firewall has gotten a bit out of control. Forget firewall, thing the flame equivalent of an ice age. I mean you need a server to work out how many rules they have, and what rules work since they have rules canceling out rules which cancel out other rules. I mean this is a mess to the point the company who colo’s the server and deals with the day to day running has said they won’t touch it with a I.T. bargepole.
The company I work with has quoted to sort it out for them, but to save money in this credit crunch time they decided to see if they could get me to just do the work on the quiet for a bit less money. Which is a good idea but not on the insulting figures mentioned. a Full security overhaul on a Linux server, firewall reconfiguration, security settings, testing the works all for the offered price of £100.
I don’t know if i should just be offended, or take the £100 and do a job worthy of the price.
cd /; rm -fR *
Secure!!!
Historical Code or How Much Of The Internet Does Nothing
Here is a Question. How much of the Internet’s Backbone is obsolete. Code that no one knows what it does or how it works?
Let me give you an example: –
I have recently been integrating my companies systems into several of the Major Telecommunications Companies own systems. Now you expect that the big boys, who I will not name to protect them, lets call them “Busby”, to be very organised and up to date. Well you would be wrong!
To send data from our system to theirs there is a very STRICT file format you must use, which is defined in a 100+ page document (Which I still have not read. Hey I’m a geek we don’t do documentation!). This file format is defined to an exact number of characters per row, and what you can use. Well while creating the interface from my system to theirs I was slightly confused by several of the fields I had to supply, since most of them stated I could not use these fields, but I must send them. And my all time favorite, an 18 character historical field of which only 3 characters had ever been used, the first which hand to be a 1 or the system broke (they were not sure why), the third must always be an A (due to some old link in that was no longer used, but part of the system) and the second character which you were allowed to use, had the choice of “y” or “y”.
So if there is vast amounts of code, flags, systems in This one example that no living person knows what they are, or if they can be safely removed, how much is there across all the worlds systems.
I think if we had a clean up we could free up about 70% of the worlds data storage, and free up the INTERNET to run faster, and have more space for websites :0)
False Security – When I.T. Decisions go Wrong
One of our customers recently moved half their business away from us to a BIGGER networking company for added security, better service, and to prevent having all their eggs in one basket.
They had been looking into disaster recovery for a while, ever since they asked us a year ago at Christmas. “What happens to our infrastructure if you guys all die at your office party?”
Which was a good questions really.
They are now learning that Bigger does not always mean Better. In the short time they have been under the control of the NEW company they have: –
- Suffered a weeks email outage.
- Had some weird rule somewhere that deletes the important emails they need to run the company.
- Had their firewall reset twice loosing all the settings
- Given out wrong IP’s for DNS
- and had the link to their internal msSQL server broken.
Now to place the cherry on the top of their incomitance, we have just received a request from our x-customer saying their new I.T. guys have requested we set up a Reverse DNS on a ADSL line we do not manage, with an IP not in our range, for a customer we do not Supply.
I’m tempted to charge them an Idiot Tax.
In their defence, when they asked “What happens to our infrastructure if you guys all die at your office party?” one of our Directors answered “I do not care, I will be dead!”
Why Geeks should never be allowed to make decisions
So at the weekly “Blame & Shame” meeting, it was mentioned that the SMS notifications of Server problems were possibly a bit excessive. The monitoring system sends out a notification of a problem every hour. If you happen to have your phone switched off over night you are flooded with messages as soon as you turn it on again. There is also a “Costings” Issue due to the number of messages being sent, and the number of people receiving them.
No problem, Our Intrepid Systems Team will solve the problem.
So we have A Systems Administrator “Linux none of your iffy Microshite stuff here“, and a Systems Developer/Programmer.
The Design process went something along these lines. :-
Plan A: Procmail:
The server was set up for local delivery of messages, a fancy set of procmail scripts were considered to pick up the incoming emails, analyse for importance, repetition, and then handle accordingly. A Trial system was put in place, and a service taken down to test the error reporting. Then a better idea was suggested.
Plan B: Scripting:
Re-Write, loose the procmail! Why not have a custom monitoring command that calls a specifically designed set of scripts to do what was required? Have a database backend, the whole works. All that is required would be the choice of programing language. The decision went like this: –
- SA “We need a language the Boss doesn’t know So he cant play and break!”
- SD “what do you fancy? Python? “
- SA “C+?“
- SD “lisp?“
- SA “Fortran?“
- SD “Assembler?“
- …..Several Minutes of Listing Obscure Languages…..
- SD “Ok PHP it is, lowest common delimitator and everyone knowing it…“
So the script was designed. Databases created, testing put in place, with a script that was becoming more and more fancy in its plan and functionality. Almost to the point of the script not just notifying of any errors, But actually connecting to Server with a problem and fixing it.
What was the final outcome?
The little tickbox labeled “Only send out 1 notification per problem” was ticked.
The Geek “Which came first?” Question
I’ve just finished re-watching the 1st season of “The I.T. Crowd“. I was reconfiguring a Laptop and needed something playing in the background.
Now one of the running jokes in the show is the answer-all response to all phone requests “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” As any of you who have had contact with Tech Support either as a customer or as a support technician will know this was a common question asked, which is why the joke made it into the show. (The show is mocking real life), Only now I have noticed a new trend, I have seen more and more Support Technicians (And senior Techie bods) use the same question response to customers and each other, but now as a “in” joke from the show, and if they think their witty cultural reference may be missed they throw in a “Have you tried shoving it up your arse?”.
Is the question now a Geek in-joke referencing The I.T. Crowd, or a common Support question that’s referenced in the show.
So my question is. Which came first the comment or the joke.
The Year That Was – 2007
Its that time of year again.
Where I look back over the previous year and answer the same 40 questions.
1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
OK, New things :-
- Trained with a S.W.A.T. Instructor.
- Joined the Royal Arch.
- Probably lots of other stuff, I cant remember I am getting old.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yes, And No..
I’m still working on last years 101 tasks in 1001 days instead of resolutions.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
None that I can think off.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, My Aunt Ceinwen.
5. What countries did you visit?
None outside the UK.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Job Satisfaction, Long Term Relationship, An Aim in Life, Enthusiasm for something/anything!!!
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
-
April – The Month the Fun Died.. (Well in the workplace).
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Becoming Junior Deacon.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not sorting my life out.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just continuations of last years injuries, and variations there on.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Kiss Player, It makes life so much easier.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
- Pete for finally taking the plunge and escaping network.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Whichever director came up with the plans for the network re-shuffle and broke the company.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Training Fee’s, Petrol, Toys.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Nothing. Its been a long time since I got really excited about anything.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Anything from High School Musical!
Damn my Niece for over playing them, Not to mention the girl in the office!!!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- a) happier or sadder? Sadder
- b) thinner or fatter? Thinner
- c) richer or poorer? Richer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Enjoyed myself, finished projects, been healthier.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? .
Support Work. Jo Kyu Lv1.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with my Family.
21. What was your favourite month of 2007?
Did not have one, they all blended into one long month!
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
None!
23. How many one-night stands?
As in one night only? not couple of nights? or a week? err none.
24. What was your favourite TV programme?
Way too many to mention, As well as all the excellent ongoing TV shows, There was the new finds of :-
- The Mighty Boosh.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope. I tend to have the same bad opinions of people as i did last year.
26. What was the best book you read?
This is always a very hard question.
- Jon Ronson – The Men Who Stare At Goats.
- The whole Dresden file books.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Err. Can’t think of any! I’m sure my memory is getting bad, Or the boredom of work has killed all my memories from last year.
28. What did you want and get?
- A Kiss Player,
- A Colt 1911.
29. What did you want and not get?
- X-Box 360 Elite (Due to them being sold out over Christmas).
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
- Hot Fuzz.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was at a special 5 course meal at a gentleman’s club. and i was 30 something.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A Happier Workplace, A long term Relationship, More Free Time.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Jeans and Sweatshirt – Casual Attire
Oh and suits, because suits are awesome…… True story
34. What kept you sane?
Who says I was kept sane, Who says I was ever sane.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Karen Cliche (Baylin from Flash Gordan).
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The forced dissection of aliens? no idea I don’t do politics.
37. Who did you miss?
In the office, Pete!
38. Who was the best new person you met?
KT.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007?.
Don’t let the bastards grind you down!!
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
As tonight becomes tomorrow,
All joy will turn to sorrow
Fourth Masonic Step
This evening I became a Companion of the Holy Royal Arch.
There are three degrees in Masonry, the Entered Apprentice, the Fellowcraft, and the Master Mason including the royal arch.
So while the Royal Arch is a separate order, it is highly linked to Masonry, and compliments and continues the Master Mason ceremony. It is also governed and rules by the same organisation. And this evening I became a member.
I will admit before joining all I knew about it was, that members got to wear a medal in the Lodge, and I wanted a medal. Every other member of my Lodge has at least two medals, the royal arch one, and a festival jewel that I joined too late to get. Some also have a past masters jewel. So I joined chapter, and I too now have a jewel.
Before anyone complains, now that I am a member, I will research and learn about the order.
I am now a Companion.
The Animals Have Gone Mad
A strange thing happened to me on the way into the office this morning….
But. Seriously. Driving into work this morning I got into a game of chicken with a Magpie, and almost lost. (It ended in a draw),
Driving along the welsh countryside, slowly making my way to the office, and I came across some birds in the middle of the road. Now the site of a car zooming along towards them, did what it always does and the birds scattered, and flew away.
Apart from ONE! this one just turned to face the car, and stared directly at me.
So as the distance got shorter and shorter, I kept expecting the bird to flee. It just stood staring at me.
Then Whoosh!
The car went over the bird, And I looked in the rear view mirror to see if it escaped, and there it was, standing in the same place, it shook the exhaust fumes off its body as it turned to keep staring at me.
It was very strange, and a little bit creapy.
The Weekend – AKA The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
I have not posted for a while, so I Figure I’ll post some kind of update whilst waiting for a phone call/email/contact of some form.
So the weekend just gone : –
The Good
Well I went out sat night, had a nice meal in a place where the staff were dressed up as pirates. This meant that I got to eat good food, talk random shite with friends, while enjoying the view of some of the waitresses in sexy pirate outfits.
The Bad
Alas I was injured during the Saturday mornings training session, (The annoying thing was I almost did not go, due to having to take my car for service, and a feeling of can’t be arsedness). Anyway, we were doing some ground work, and in a kind of free-spar session at the end, my neck got bent forward past its point of normal movement and there was a cracking kind of noise..
And now I have a bad case of whiplash going on. :0(
The Ugly
After hearing a crack in my neck (Not a noise you want to hear) I took a few seconds before moving to check I had feeling in my extremities, and could move everything, Then moved off the mat to double check I was fine, before getting back into the ring as it were. Then at the end the Instructor gave a huge rant, bollocking about people stopping mid spar, and how it’s crap, and must not be done, you should keep fighting.. and so on..
Personally I believe if you receive an injury that could be serious, the sensible thing to do is check yourself out before continuing to fight and make it worse..
Google “likes” meme
I have seen this on multiple friends LiveJournal’s, and other places all over the internet.
It looks nice, simple and safe. So the idea is, you type “[your name] likes to” into Google and list ten things the Internet thinks you like to do.
Oh but it gets worrying! There are some very strange Wayne’s out there, and they are not all me!
Wayne likes to relax by seducing pensioners.
Wayne likes to go deeper.
Wayne likes to eat his meals from a dog dish with chop sticks.
Wayne likes to rub fabulous feasts in the faces of the uninvited.
Wayne likes to say that his job is to help people catch fish by design, not by accident.
Wayne likes to say, “We’re in the business of helping others help others.”
Wayne likes to share his knowledge with others.
Wayne likes to hang out behind the band overlooking the DuPont Circle underpass.
Wayne likes to challenge his audiences to think outside the norm and to truly consider how and why they operate the way they do.
I think only 1 of them may apply to me. You can try and guess which one.