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Latest News and Blog Posts from Wayne “Pendragon” Owens.
When Development Goes MAD
It started off as just another day in the Asylum.
Well not just any old day, but a Friday. The countdown to the weekend had been started. The coffee brewed. and all was well!
Then IT happened.
And not a cool interesting intergalactic space spider who likes to disguise herself as a friendly clown called Pennywise. No not a good IT at all.
He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
No this IT was getting called into a phone meeting, something that to date has tended to go the same way every time. I go into the meeting, i sit about for an hour listening to the marketing guys discuss what name to give things, then I have a ten minute contribution about the development, then another hour of pointless marketing drivel. (I think I fell asleep at one point in the last meeting I went to).
This was luckily just a 15 minute quick meeting to discuss what is the next area of development to concentrate on. You see the site in question is getting a major overhaul and is currently in a situation where the development site can be made live. There is just some final testing going on. This testing will be finished today, so the site will be live by Monday.
Yet in the meeting, the Governor decided that we needed a development site for the development site. So that while the development site is being tested to go live, a development version of the development site can be worked on. Now, should any bugs be found in the development site they would have to be fixed there and the fix duplicated to the development, development site. while new work is done there. We now have three versions of a site, all for the sake of waiting a day.
I don’t know if any of you can see the sense in that, I know I can’t.
Ah well on with the multiple dev site creating.
Sisyphean Roadworks
On my way home last night I saw something that made me do a double take, and was such a bizarre concept that I felt I had to share it with you.
Part of my daily commute currently passes “Mobile Repairs“. And No before you ask, that does not mean they repair mobile phone. I stopped and asked, and the captain threw a hammer at my head.
Basically they are working their way along the road repairing the millions of potholes that are currently infecting the UK’s road system. To keep themselves safe while working that have temporary traffic lights and cones set up. (Health and Safety and all that).
So as I was driving home last night I happened to catch the strange creatures that actually set up and move these lights and cones. Now you are probably wondering how does Health & Safety cover the removal of Temporary lights and traffic cones on a busy road?
Well that’s simple, They had put up Temporary Lights slightly further out from the temporary lights to keep them safe as they packed away the first lot of lights. So the question is, do they then have to put up more Temporary Lights to be able to remove the Temporary Lights they places to be able to remove the Original Lights? Also. if they keep placing the new lights slightly forward of the old lights will the eventually be so far apart they cover a whole country?
Who said Romance Was Dead?
You cant beat a “good ole family barn raising“.
Well, technically there were no barn’s raised, or any barns at all really. And the closet thing to an Amish was a tall blond in skin-tight jodhpurs who walked past at one point. (What is it about boots & Tight Jodhpurs? Sorry Iwas distracted there…).
The other weekend there were three generations of my family doing some work at my parents place. (Gen1) My Father, (Gen2) Me, and (Gen3) two of my Nephews. We were rebuilding some wooden parts of the garden that have started to rot from old age (haven’t we all), and repaint the wooden fences, etc.. (This is Just Scene Setting).
While we were having a much needed ten minute Coffee break, Nephew #1 was talking about a row of houses near where he lives that have all got a government grant to do work on the houses, apart from the end house in the terrace who’s door is on the other road so have missed out. It got mentioned that the grants been going round for ages now (Slowly as all Government stuff tend to do) and that My Grandfather had it for his place, he had the whole place gutted and rebuilt with the grant paying 70% of costs.
This led to the story of the rebuild. Which is such a touching story of Love & Romance that I thought I’d share it with you Dear Reader.
My Grandparents house then was built over an old mine shaft, meaning you could not get a mortgage on the building, and it was a bit unstable. This did mean they were able to buy it for very little money. So when they had the option of a 70% Government grant for building work, My Grandfather jumped at the chance.
After discussions with the builders it was decided to strip building, fill the mine shaft with a concrete plug & cap, rewire the house, re-plumb, Install new central heating, re-plaster, the works. This would involve the floors Upstairs, and down being removed, the walls stripped of existing plaster, and the electric/water being off. Basically the house would be unsuitable to live in for roughly a month.
Now my Grandfather being a practical man, he decided that was no problem. They would simply move into the garage for the month.
I should point out here, the garage was a large building, Brick walls on three sides. The roof was Tin sheeting, and the front wall was a full length wooden door, which only partially fitted with huge gaps. So all in all, a draughty cold room.
To make it more liveable he put the carpets from the house down on the concrete floor, he put a bed, sofa and TV in there along with a kettle and cooker. Now, my Grandmother was not a plan of this idea. She was not living in a cold, spider infested garage. She wanted to go on holiday while the work was being done, or at least stay in a B&B or Hotel. So my Grandfather sat her down and explained that they could not go on holiday as someone needed to stay and keep an eye on the builders. Also if the builders saw “an old woman” living in such a bad place they would work harder and get the job done. He also pointed out that they had a daughter living next door, so they had access to a bath, toilet, and such. After much discussion she finally decided to do what he suggested. So she helped him make the garage more homely and comfortable. After all, they had lived through the War, what was a few weeks of discomfort, as long as they were together.
Two days before the builders were due to start, my Grandmother walked into her bedroom to check everything had been put away. There she saw my Grandfather packing a suitcase with some clothes. Confused she asked him what he was doing. “Didn’t I remind you? I’m off to Australia for a month tour with the choir. Its been booked for over a year.“
He’d never had any intention of living in the garage himself. He had made it as comfortable as he could for his wife of many many years, he was just not staying in it himself…
Who says chivalry is dead.
I should point out before anyone gets upset about my Grandmother. That after a very long monologue of mostly bad words that would even make a sailor blush, my grandfather was forced able to get a second plane ticket, and upgrade his hotel room to a double, so my Grandmother could go on holiday with him.
I Love the smell of Estrogen In the Morning!
WOW.
Its all I can say, WOW.
I am experiencing a mixture of 60% Shock and 40% Anger, With a small sprinkling of Homicidal Tendencies on top.
I’d not seen the Governor all day in the Asylum. I’d heard slight grumblings coming from down the corridor but that was it. You see one of the Support Drones has not been doing his job fully, and it had been spotted while he was on holiday for a week. And everyone else had run around sorting it all out (Without anything really being said to the drone.) Hence Grumblings.
Towards the end of the day, The Governor storms into my Cell screaming “Where’s this website!” “I’ve given you a long rain of time for it, I need it now“. Most people would have opened with a hello, or the question asked in a normal voice, not at full rage decibels.
Now, I’ve not worked on a major web project since I left the Development department three years ago, So I’m rusty. I should also point out that the website needing the overhaul was written by someone learning PHP badly at the time. Each page needs about 25 separate files of code to work, and DIV tags are spread over several files. Its a mess, and the work being done must not change the look and feel of site. Oh, and after the site was finished it had a lot of work done to it by another person with limited PHP knowledge. I digress.
So I’m rusty, it’s not an easy site, still it’s not impossible to do. Apart from the fact that I get disturbed a dozen times a day on average to help the Support Drones with problems with the ISP part of the company, or The Windows server admin wanting help with something, Or the Linux admin is working on something and wants some scripts altering to help him out, or improve something. Or the development department is bust so needs help, Or customers need help, Or the Governor needs stuff looking up or doing.
After each interruption I have lost my place on the project, and cant remember what I was doing, So I have to delete the stuff I was typing and start again. This week for example I managed about four hours of usable work on this Project.
This on top of the slight Depression I feel by not actually having a defined role in the Asylum. The Linux SysAdmin looks after the Linux Servers (There’s a lot of them), ICT Engineer only does ICT work, Developer only does development, Support guys only do support. I do, Support, Development, windows sysadmin, linux sysadmin backup work, internal development, bt development, question answering/help for all other departments, out of hours emergency support when linux sysadmin unreachable, I cover every department when they have staff people on holiday.
And they wonder a web project takes a bit longer to do than a dedicated web developer would take?
I can never finish any project, I start one, get a week working on it if i am very very lucky, then I’m given another project, and another.
I really feel like I will snap at any point. And being screamed at as the opening question of “is the website finished yet” really does not help.
I will admit that after that incident I may have vented slightly. I posted a Tweet on my Private, None Work based, None Linked to Work Twitter account thus :-
Given a web project, constantly pulled off to do other urgent jobs and get screamed at asking why web project not finished.
Only The Governor follows my Twitter account, So I get another ballistic explosion, of how he’s under pressure and how do i think it makes him feel to see a posting like that? err. probably no where near as bad as being the person screamed at for no reason? And I can remove that tweet or get sacked.
So I have decided to separate my personal “Social Networking” with my Current Employment. Since I feel I should be allowed to vent whatever I want on line as long as no names, or company names are mentioned. It’s a hell of a lot healthier for everyone for anonymous on line venting, than holding the anger in, snapping, and going on a psychopathic killing spree in the office with a philips headed screwdriver.
Technology 1:Old Skool 0
Last night was LOI. And it was a good evening, well OK. It was a good evening apart from a case of “Too many cooks spoil the broth!” which I may talk about in a different post. Someone remind me about it.
Just before the end of the evening (We were doing a 1st) during the bit where the W.M. gives the Candidate the normal documents, one of the P.M.’s who is a Mentor at one of the Lodges who make up the LOI stands up to inform us of recent changes, that require “NEW & IMPROVED” words to be added there. He opens his magical book that no one else has to show the words, and suggests that everyone write them down for further use.
So at the close of the evening there were roughly thirteen people trying to make a note of a couple of pages of writing. The only problem was, no one was prepared. So between them they were able to find a semi-functioning pen, and a small piece of torn paper they found under a bench (Approx. one inch square). In other words they were stuck.
At this point I wonder over to where they are gathered, unlock my iPhone, load the PDFscanner app and quickly scan the two pages of text. Convert them into a PDF document, and email it to several people who’s email addresses I have on me.
You know. Sometimes Technology just Rocks!
Managing the Unmanageable: Or Herding Cats
A nervous air of expectancy tinged with an edge of fear hangs over the quiet room, as a group of people sit on old school chairs arranged in a circle. Slowly one of the group stands up, looking at the faces of those around him, making sure not to make eye contact. He swallows the lump that’s threatening to block his throat and mumbles. “Hi. My name is Wayne and I’m Unorganised“.
OK. Maybe Unorganised Anonymous is not as well known a support group as some of the more trendy Anonymous Groups. AA, SA, VA, DA, etc. But God darn it, it affects people just as bad as the others!
For years I have taken on way too many projects and ideas, Never actually finishing any of them because of the sheer work load. That and Each project distracts from the others. In the past I have tried to counter this with ToDo lists. (In fact every one of my machines has dozens of todo text files all over their hard drives). As you can imagine this is not the most efficient form of managing Time/Tasks, and I can admit it does not work.
With the help of my UA sponsors I started to investigate software for keeping “task lists” that would help keep me organised. I even asked for help on Twitter/Facebook with the following comment.
“I have been testing different todo lists/project tracking systems
I want a web based one, and would like it to communicate with a phone app. but a decent web app would do for starters.”
This got me several suggestions and ideas. Which I started to test and try out. Both iPhone only apps, a simple web app, etc.
At the same time @demonpengu started looking at ways to manage himself & his projects. (He too has a problem, only he has not yet taken the first of the twelve steps and admitted he has a problem and joined UA). This made me look back at a bit of software I had tested years ago called dotproject.
“dotProject is a volunteer supported Project Management application. There is no ‘company’ behind this project, it is managed, maintained, developed and supported by a volunteer group and by the users themselves.”
While discussing dotProject as a possible solution for him, I decided to re-test it myself as well. And have been running it for a month now. I have only got it managing a half dozen projects during this “Testing” phase. I will admit I am not fully using all the features it has, I will start using more and more as I get into the habit of using it. And as the projects grow then more of the extra features will be needed.
In the month I have been testing, I have made a start of several projects and tasks I have been putting off for years, and have finished over a dozen major tasks. I believe this bit of software may just save me, and organise the completion of old old projects. So watch this space for a more Productive Wayne.
The Twelve Steps of UA
- We admitted we were powerless of Organisation
- Came to believe that a Program greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of dotProject
- -> 12. All better now.
Schrodinger’s Snow
I have a new theory!
R: “You say you have a new theory about the brontosaurus.?“
W: “errr No. I said I had a new theory! nobody mentioned a brontosaurus.“
R: “Right, Got You… So What’s your theory about the brontosaurus.?“
W: “Arrrrrggghhhhh!” ::sigh:: “OK, This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end; much, much thicker in the middle; and then thin again at the far end.“
Ignoring that mindless drivel. I have a new theoretical supposition involving the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. (impressive right?)
Let me set the environment for this eureka moment.
- Warm bed.
- Early Morning.
- Work Day.
So there I was all warm and comfortable when my alarm went off telling me it was time (Give or take several hits of the snooze button) to get up and get ready to go to work.
Now the previous evening/night it had been snowing rather heavy and at the time I had last checked before going to bed, the snow was a couple of inches deep. If the snow had continued over night then there would be no way I would be driving to work, so would be working from home. This would mean I could go back to sleep for an extra hour. On the other hand, If the snow had changed to rain then the pre-fallen snow would have been destroyed leaving the roads clear for traffic.
So at this point the availability of an extra hour lie-in is dependent on the situation outside my building. Has the snow blocked me in, or has the snow gone? The only way to determine the quantum state of the snow (Snow or Water) is for the observer (me) getting up and looking outside to observe the current state.
The problem with this is :- If I get out of bed to go check outside, then I am already up and about so any chance of a lie-in is destroyed.
On a side note. I think I need an Network Camera so I can check the conditions outside without leaving my bed.
R: “Pah! I proffered the theory about the brontosaurus.“
Bloody Small Yappy Dogs!
While most of you were spending the weekend celebrating either “Valentines Day” or the “Chinese New Year” I was not celebrating, Not even Wales winning the Rugby could cheer me up. You see I had to get rid of one of my Dogs the weekend.
I have (or Had) Two large Labrador’s, Now being responsible they were not allowed to run about on the roads free. A lot of effort was made to fence up the gates and hedges around the property to prevent them escaping. Anything that could have been done to keep them contained was. And its not even like they were aggressive dogs. They would bark if people came too close to the gate, and at the odd passing dog. But that was all.
Till this Friday.
Some inconsiderate person who lives down the hill from me was taking her two small fluffy yappy dogs for a walk. They were not on leads, or controlled. One of them decided to bark at my dogs, then when mine started barking back, it stuck its head through the fencing on the gate. The woman just stood there and let it, as it barked and snarled at my dogs.
Now One of my dogs, A female so protective of its turf decided it did not like this attack, so grabbed the small yappy dog by its head and pulled it through the small hole in the gate and proceeded to eat it. Now the woman decided to take note, and start screaming murder.
Luckily there was people there to stop the attack and take my dog indoors, leaving the now none yapping dog lying in a pool of its own blood. Now being nice we drove the woman and her dog to the vet, and as a nice gesture even paid the bills.
Unfortunately, now the dog had snapped once and tasted blood as they say, we could not really trust it not to snap again. I know if was not her fault, she was just defending herself and her land. Only we get lots of kids and small children walking past the gate on walks with their parents. and they like to stick their hands through gate to pet dogs. And the thought that one of them may get mauled is not a nice one. So My dog had to go to kennels.
And to top it all the woman who owned the yappy dog is blaming us. Right. My dogs were in an enclosed grounds. hers were wandering the roads unleashed. Hers started barking and pushing their way only my grounds. Hell we paid her vet fee’s and got rid of a family member. And its our fault?
What does she expect if a dog about nine inches tall decides to take on one about three foot tall. She should have had her dogs on leads, or at least under control. Now because of her irresponsible behaviour I loose a dog.
People who want small yappy dogs should be banned from owning dogs for life. There is something not right about them.
You’ll be missed Goldie
Don’t go out tonight, It’s bound to take your life. There’s a bad moon on the rise.
Last night I did something I regret, now I am not going to go into the details as to why I did what I did since the reasons are slightly questionable on the legal front. I will only say in my defence I did it to be Helpful and nice to someone else.
“What was it I did?” I hear you ask……………………
I hear you ask……………………
I can wait all day!……………..
R: ::mutter:: “What was it you did? Happy Now“
I watched the film “Twilight – New Moon”.
I have not read the books, So I did not know what the big hype was about. I had seen the first film since I am a fan of the Vampire genre, and did not realise its a teen angst emo mopey pile of depression.
And I have to say, the second film was even worse. I kid you not, after the two hours I was happily considering hanging myself to make the depression go away.
Seriously. at one point they just had the mopey girl sitting in a chair moping as they put month names up on screen to show how long she could keep a good mope up for. And it was infections all the other characters caught it.
At one point they stopped the teen emo angst for an action scene (about two minutes long out of the two hour film) This they then ruined by doing it to a mopey soundtrack.
At one point a friend who had read the books asked on IM what part of the film I was up to, and got the following plot description “The annoying mopey werewolf just told the annoying mopey vampire that the annoying mopey girls dad was organising a funeral” I think that sums up the whole film nicely.
The film needs a health warning at the start.
WARNING: If you suffer from depression do not watch this film as it contains scenes of a depressing nature which could cause suicide.
It’s this stupid movie. It’s called “Coffins from Hell.”
Just a quickie post: The Blog equivalent of a Knee trembler on the fire-escape at the back of a night club. Or if you was a Tiv Regular back in “the good ole days!” then a quick visit to that middle floor seating area.
Hang on… I’ve gone of topic slightly, and to be fair any mention of the Tiv deserves a full blog post for itself. Maybe someday… Right, for now back to “the Big Picture” of this quick post, and the lesson for the week that I wish to impart to you.
One Last tangent: 10 Film Geek Points to anyone who connects the post title to the content. (easy one)
R: “You know for a <quote>Just a quickie post</quote> you have so far “babbled” for 112 words?“
W: “You actually counted them? Sheeeesh, you have way too much time on your hands!”
R: “Duh!!!! If I did not, I wouldn’t be reading your blog would I?“
W: “Fair Point. I’ll give you that. Now Back to the story…..“
To tell you the truth, I’ve now forgotten what I was going to post about, “Hey it is a Monday morning. I can be forgiven!” The Big Picture, that was it.
This morning as I drove to work I was stopped on a hill by the car in front of me wishing to turn right, and was waiting for a break in the oncoming traffic or a nice driver to stop and let him cross. We were there for quite a while as a silly amount of cars came past in a constant stream. After about five minutes the driver gave up and drove on, planning on taking a different longer route to where he wanted to go.
Now if he had looked at “The Bigger Picture” or at least ocular mapped the area, he would have realised two important things.
1) The reason there was so much traffic coming down the hill was due to the road works slightly higher up the hill, which were on Red for us, Green for them.
2) If he waited for lights to change he could have turned with no problem.
As it was he drove past his turning and got stuck in the row of cars waiting for the lights to change.
So people, Always look at the big picture. Take that extra few seconds to look outside of your comfort zone. See why things are as they are, and how they affect you. You could end up saving yourself a lot of hassle and problems.
Remember Rome was not built in a day. But with modern technology we could flatten it in minutes. It makes you think!