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Latest News and Blog Posts from Wayne “Pendragon” Owens.
Technology 1:Old Skool 0
Last night was LOI. And it was a good evening, well OK. It was a good evening apart from a case of “Too many cooks spoil the broth!” which I may talk about in a different post. Someone remind me about it.
Just before the end of the evening (We were doing a 1st) during the bit where the W.M. gives the Candidate the normal documents, one of the P.M.’s who is a Mentor at one of the Lodges who make up the LOI stands up to inform us of recent changes, that require “NEW & IMPROVED” words to be added there. He opens his magical book that no one else has to show the words, and suggests that everyone write them down for further use.
So at the close of the evening there were roughly thirteen people trying to make a note of a couple of pages of writing. The only problem was, no one was prepared. So between them they were able to find a semi-functioning pen, and a small piece of torn paper they found under a bench (Approx. one inch square). In other words they were stuck.
At this point I wonder over to where they are gathered, unlock my iPhone, load the PDFscanner app and quickly scan the two pages of text. Convert them into a PDF document, and email it to several people who’s email addresses I have on me.
You know. Sometimes Technology just Rocks!
Managing the Unmanageable: Or Herding Cats
A nervous air of expectancy tinged with an edge of fear hangs over the quiet room, as a group of people sit on old school chairs arranged in a circle. Slowly one of the group stands up, looking at the faces of those around him, making sure not to make eye contact. He swallows the lump that’s threatening to block his throat and mumbles. “Hi. My name is Wayne and I’m Unorganised“.
OK. Maybe Unorganised Anonymous is not as well known a support group as some of the more trendy Anonymous Groups. AA, SA, VA, DA, etc. But God darn it, it affects people just as bad as the others!
For years I have taken on way too many projects and ideas, Never actually finishing any of them because of the sheer work load. That and Each project distracts from the others. In the past I have tried to counter this with ToDo lists. (In fact every one of my machines has dozens of todo text files all over their hard drives). As you can imagine this is not the most efficient form of managing Time/Tasks, and I can admit it does not work.
With the help of my UA sponsors I started to investigate software for keeping “task lists” that would help keep me organised. I even asked for help on Twitter/Facebook with the following comment.
“I have been testing different todo lists/project tracking systems
I want a web based one, and would like it to communicate with a phone app. but a decent web app would do for starters.”
This got me several suggestions and ideas. Which I started to test and try out. Both iPhone only apps, a simple web app, etc.
At the same time @demonpengu started looking at ways to manage himself & his projects. (He too has a problem, only he has not yet taken the first of the twelve steps and admitted he has a problem and joined UA). This made me look back at a bit of software I had tested years ago called dotproject.
“dotProject is a volunteer supported Project Management application. There is no ‘company’ behind this project, it is managed, maintained, developed and supported by a volunteer group and by the users themselves.”
While discussing dotProject as a possible solution for him, I decided to re-test it myself as well. And have been running it for a month now. I have only got it managing a half dozen projects during this “Testing” phase. I will admit I am not fully using all the features it has, I will start using more and more as I get into the habit of using it. And as the projects grow then more of the extra features will be needed.
In the month I have been testing, I have made a start of several projects and tasks I have been putting off for years, and have finished over a dozen major tasks. I believe this bit of software may just save me, and organise the completion of old old projects. So watch this space for a more Productive Wayne.
The Twelve Steps of UA
- We admitted we were powerless of Organisation
- Came to believe that a Program greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of dotProject
- -> 12. All better now.
Schrodinger’s Snow
I have a new theory!
R: “You say you have a new theory about the brontosaurus.?“
W: “errr No. I said I had a new theory! nobody mentioned a brontosaurus.“
R: “Right, Got You… So What’s your theory about the brontosaurus.?“
W: “Arrrrrggghhhhh!” ::sigh:: “OK, This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end; much, much thicker in the middle; and then thin again at the far end.“
Ignoring that mindless drivel. I have a new theoretical supposition involving the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. (impressive right?)
Let me set the environment for this eureka moment.
- Warm bed.
- Early Morning.
- Work Day.
So there I was all warm and comfortable when my alarm went off telling me it was time (Give or take several hits of the snooze button) to get up and get ready to go to work.
Now the previous evening/night it had been snowing rather heavy and at the time I had last checked before going to bed, the snow was a couple of inches deep. If the snow had continued over night then there would be no way I would be driving to work, so would be working from home. This would mean I could go back to sleep for an extra hour. On the other hand, If the snow had changed to rain then the pre-fallen snow would have been destroyed leaving the roads clear for traffic.
So at this point the availability of an extra hour lie-in is dependent on the situation outside my building. Has the snow blocked me in, or has the snow gone? The only way to determine the quantum state of the snow (Snow or Water) is for the observer (me) getting up and looking outside to observe the current state.
The problem with this is :- If I get out of bed to go check outside, then I am already up and about so any chance of a lie-in is destroyed.
On a side note. I think I need an Network Camera so I can check the conditions outside without leaving my bed.
R: “Pah! I proffered the theory about the brontosaurus.“
Bloody Small Yappy Dogs!
While most of you were spending the weekend celebrating either “Valentines Day” or the “Chinese New Year” I was not celebrating, Not even Wales winning the Rugby could cheer me up. You see I had to get rid of one of my Dogs the weekend.
I have (or Had) Two large Labrador’s, Now being responsible they were not allowed to run about on the roads free. A lot of effort was made to fence up the gates and hedges around the property to prevent them escaping. Anything that could have been done to keep them contained was. And its not even like they were aggressive dogs. They would bark if people came too close to the gate, and at the odd passing dog. But that was all.
Till this Friday.
Some inconsiderate person who lives down the hill from me was taking her two small fluffy yappy dogs for a walk. They were not on leads, or controlled. One of them decided to bark at my dogs, then when mine started barking back, it stuck its head through the fencing on the gate. The woman just stood there and let it, as it barked and snarled at my dogs.
Now One of my dogs, A female so protective of its turf decided it did not like this attack, so grabbed the small yappy dog by its head and pulled it through the small hole in the gate and proceeded to eat it. Now the woman decided to take note, and start screaming murder.
Luckily there was people there to stop the attack and take my dog indoors, leaving the now none yapping dog lying in a pool of its own blood. Now being nice we drove the woman and her dog to the vet, and as a nice gesture even paid the bills.
Unfortunately, now the dog had snapped once and tasted blood as they say, we could not really trust it not to snap again. I know if was not her fault, she was just defending herself and her land. Only we get lots of kids and small children walking past the gate on walks with their parents. and they like to stick their hands through gate to pet dogs. And the thought that one of them may get mauled is not a nice one. So My dog had to go to kennels.
And to top it all the woman who owned the yappy dog is blaming us. Right. My dogs were in an enclosed grounds. hers were wandering the roads unleashed. Hers started barking and pushing their way only my grounds. Hell we paid her vet fee’s and got rid of a family member. And its our fault?
What does she expect if a dog about nine inches tall decides to take on one about three foot tall. She should have had her dogs on leads, or at least under control. Now because of her irresponsible behaviour I loose a dog.
People who want small yappy dogs should be banned from owning dogs for life. There is something not right about them.
You’ll be missed Goldie
Don’t go out tonight, It’s bound to take your life. There’s a bad moon on the rise.
Last night I did something I regret, now I am not going to go into the details as to why I did what I did since the reasons are slightly questionable on the legal front. I will only say in my defence I did it to be Helpful and nice to someone else.
“What was it I did?” I hear you ask……………………
I hear you ask……………………
I can wait all day!……………..
R: ::mutter:: “What was it you did? Happy Now“
I watched the film “Twilight – New Moon”.
I have not read the books, So I did not know what the big hype was about. I had seen the first film since I am a fan of the Vampire genre, and did not realise its a teen angst emo mopey pile of depression.
And I have to say, the second film was even worse. I kid you not, after the two hours I was happily considering hanging myself to make the depression go away.
Seriously. at one point they just had the mopey girl sitting in a chair moping as they put month names up on screen to show how long she could keep a good mope up for. And it was infections all the other characters caught it.
At one point they stopped the teen emo angst for an action scene (about two minutes long out of the two hour film) This they then ruined by doing it to a mopey soundtrack.
At one point a friend who had read the books asked on IM what part of the film I was up to, and got the following plot description “The annoying mopey werewolf just told the annoying mopey vampire that the annoying mopey girls dad was organising a funeral” I think that sums up the whole film nicely.
The film needs a health warning at the start.
WARNING: If you suffer from depression do not watch this film as it contains scenes of a depressing nature which could cause suicide.
It’s this stupid movie. It’s called “Coffins from Hell.”
Just a quickie post: The Blog equivalent of a Knee trembler on the fire-escape at the back of a night club. Or if you was a Tiv Regular back in “the good ole days!” then a quick visit to that middle floor seating area.
Hang on… I’ve gone of topic slightly, and to be fair any mention of the Tiv deserves a full blog post for itself. Maybe someday… Right, for now back to “the Big Picture” of this quick post, and the lesson for the week that I wish to impart to you.
One Last tangent: 10 Film Geek Points to anyone who connects the post title to the content. (easy one)
R: “You know for a <quote>Just a quickie post</quote> you have so far “babbled” for 112 words?“
W: “You actually counted them? Sheeeesh, you have way too much time on your hands!”
R: “Duh!!!! If I did not, I wouldn’t be reading your blog would I?“
W: “Fair Point. I’ll give you that. Now Back to the story…..“
To tell you the truth, I’ve now forgotten what I was going to post about, “Hey it is a Monday morning. I can be forgiven!” The Big Picture, that was it.
This morning as I drove to work I was stopped on a hill by the car in front of me wishing to turn right, and was waiting for a break in the oncoming traffic or a nice driver to stop and let him cross. We were there for quite a while as a silly amount of cars came past in a constant stream. After about five minutes the driver gave up and drove on, planning on taking a different longer route to where he wanted to go.
Now if he had looked at “The Bigger Picture” or at least ocular mapped the area, he would have realised two important things.
1) The reason there was so much traffic coming down the hill was due to the road works slightly higher up the hill, which were on Red for us, Green for them.
2) If he waited for lights to change he could have turned with no problem.
As it was he drove past his turning and got stuck in the row of cars waiting for the lights to change.
So people, Always look at the big picture. Take that extra few seconds to look outside of your comfort zone. See why things are as they are, and how they affect you. You could end up saving yourself a lot of hassle and problems.
Remember Rome was not built in a day. But with modern technology we could flatten it in minutes. It makes you think!
Time Waits for No Man. But What if he doesn’t turn up?
The Masonic Season starts again this month, And last night I was dutifully at Rehearsals. Well it was needed as everyone moved up a rung on the ladder at the last meeting, and this is the first ceremony we will do in our new positions.
So We all start turning up at the Lodge at 7pm, greet each other and start chatting in little groups while we are waiting.
TIME PASSES
The groups slowly move about as people move to greet and chat with others, catching up with people not seen since the end of last years season.
TIME PASSES
At this point I’m chatting to the Candidate, who has turned up for the start of rehearsal before leaving when we do the bits he can’t yet see. At some point he asks me how long the rehearsal will go on for, as he has to go back to work afterwards. I point out that he can only stay for the start and then he gets to go. So it wont be long after we start.
TIME PASSES
So we’re discussing the age old discussion Linux/Windows/Mac. When he asks what time do we start. I point out we’re just waiting on people then we’ll start. It was only when he asked me who we were waiting for that I realised we were all actually there. It was just no one had noticed, or suggested we start.
I saw the Devil ice-skating to work
I have been thinking, and am a bit confused.
R: “A Bit?“
W: “OK. I’m often confused. I just figured I’d type out my confusion and at the same time send out a call to arms!.”
For the last several years you would have to have been living as a hermit is a small cave on some hidden mountain peak not to have heard about “Global Warming“.
To be fair, when the Doom & Gloom brigade first started they rumblings that we were killing the planet, and that gia would not stand for it, and a war between nature and progress would be the end of us…. “Ooops. My bad! That’s the plot of Avatar. But you get the idea.”
At the time we were having Lovely heat waves, Hottest summers since records begun, sweltering heat, warm winters, snow was a thing of the past. So It did look like this “Global Warming” may be real. So the “Experts” said we were killing the planet, the ice caps were melting in the heat, Sea levels would rise, there would be new floods and carnage.
In fear people jumped on the bandwagon, we had terms like “Carbon Footprint”, we changed the way we live, we turned lights off, or used energy saving ones. We drove less, we quit using cfc’s and aerosols. We did what the experts said. And yet they demand more. There was recently a global meeting of world leaders to talk about how we could cut down our emissions even more.
Now this is what confuses me. We cut down our emissions, and since then we have not had a summer longer than 4 days of sunny weather, we’ve had no heat waves. What we have had is the longest cold spells since records begun. We’ve had more snow in the last year then the decade before it. For the last three months we’ve had permafrost in Wales.
If we cut down our emissions any more we’re on the edge of creating a new ice age. Now I don’t know about you guys. But given the choice of “Global Warming” or “Global Freezing” I choose the option that leads to warm days, cold beers, scantily clad women!
So forget what the so called experts say. What do they know, “Global warming does not equal longest cold spell ever!” So I say, screw them. Lets drive our cars when we don’t really need to, Hell leave the engine running for ten minutes before getting into the car to warm it up. Leave all your lights on 24/7.
Lets have tree cutting days to counter the tree planting ones. Lets wipe out whole forests. Lets burn Hippies! that has got to give off some good carbon emissions!
I am asking you dear Reader, Do what you can to help fight off the Ice Age that’s coming. Remember, A real Ice age is not funny like in the kids films, its not big and its not clever!
Somebody Shoot Busby
I wonder if there is any of the old “Busby” Puppets/Models/Anything still around I could get my hands on, and then film its destruction by the use of Thermite. I think something along those lines defiantly needs doing, as the Fat Yellow BarSteward is currently the bane of my life. To put it simply “I HATE PHONE SYSTEMS“. I along with the majority of work colleges Past and Present blame the Phone Systems for all the problems the Insane Asylum has had over the last 4 or 5 years.
Let me mention a few of the current reasons that I wish to rain down thermite on a marketing logo, or the telecommunications industry, or the next person to mention phones.
*Directory Enquiries
Now this was a Project I finished, its all written and finalised. There is just one thing, BT’s security demands a user entered none automated file upload. And since the Asylum paid for my access to the BT system, It means I have to do the manual uploads. This involves changing IP addresses, checking huge thousand line text files for any bad words (it goes up in my name so checks needed) then connecting to their system, uploading a file, then several times over the following weeks doing it all again to download results. Now we currently do it every few months so its not too bad. Only I overheard Governor talking yesterday, he’s pushing it to go for weekly uploads, or better yet daily!. I’m supposed to be SysAd/SysDev not a fraking Data Input Drone.
*WLR3
Apparently BT are phasing out WLR2 and replacing it with WLR3. WLR2 will no longer exist after March 2011. I know, terrifying isn’t it? “what do you mean you have no idea what WLR2/3 is?” Well to be honest, I have no clue what it is either, Never heard of it, used it, etc. Yet, I have been given the task of developing a software integration from our system to theirs to handle all the WLR3 stuff. Now, all the info I have so far is a Phone conference call I was on, Where basically they just told us we have to do it soon, and suggested we purchase a pre-made system. To be fair they laughed when the Governor said we would be developing our own. They pointed out that some other companies have tried, and they may have Great Dev departments, but its too complex, and too many phone things only people in industry know for any team to develop in time frame. TEAM?? The Governor wants me to do it on my own. And on top of my normal workload, and covering everyone else in the Asylum!!!!
*WebSite Redesign
We have a website for a sister company, trading name kinda thing for our phone products. It was written by a partner company (who since went bust) and is the worst pile of junk you could imagine. Say you need a website, give the programming job to an artist who knows no code. give him a php book, and tell him the more functions and pointless stuff you add, the better the site is. Its shite. it needs deleting and starting from new. Well they decided to re-write it using the existing code, and Guess who gets to rebuild the site? You got it, me, on top of the impossible WLR3 project, and on top of normal workload. Oh, but lets have a quick dev meeting first to discuss what we having on there. Only that turned out to be a two and a half hour marketing meeting, where they discussed costs, pricing, and what terms the sales person should use when selling things that had nothing to do with the website in question.
At this meeting I learnt Apple lies, there is not an app for everything. I searched their store, and there are no apps that allow you to use an iphone to rip out your own heart.
Purple haze all in my brain, Lately things just don’t seem the same
It’s a really small world you know. Even without the Interweb making it smaller and smaller every year. It used to be said that the “Human Web” covering the world meant that any person on the planet is at most just “Six degrees of Separation” from any other person on the planet. This was in the early part of the 20th century. These days with the advent of the Interwebs and Social Networking, I believe that number is a lot smaller.
Q: “Why are you muttering about this 6 degrees rubbish?“
A: “Hang on. Give me a minute, I’m getting to the point now. Sheesh! Everyone’s a critic!“
Yesterday I was talking to my Niece (She’s about 12) and she was telling me about one of her mothers cool friends. Someone my Sister met a few years ago while she was running a pub in Wrexham, and became great friends with. So my Niece is telling me some story and says “you don’t know *GirlsName* but she’s great” When she mentioned the Girls name I blinked, “*GirlsName*? Oh I know her, I’ve known her for many years!” Which made my Niece protest, there was no way I could have known this girl for years, since her mother has only known her for about 2 years. So I told her a story from my past that she could use to prove I knew the Girl.
Since it brought back happy memories of days gone by, I thought I’d share it here.
It was many many years ago. (Something like 1999/2000, I forget exactly) and I was out on a pub crawl that started in Oswestry and ended up in Wrexham. There was three of us on the Pub Crawl, Myself, Ax & Kooper. We ended up in the “Kings Head”, where we bumped into *GirlsName* and her friend, and had a drink with them. When we got kicked out for making a mess.
I should stop my narration for a moment to point out something to those of you who were unlucky, and never got to drink in the “Kings”. Now this pub was a Dive. You know those pub’s where parents warn their daughters not to drink in? This one they warned their sons away from. The plaster was falling off the walls, the seats were ripped and broken, everything was covered with layers of old cigarette smoke. And as for the carpets? A girlfriend of mine once kneeled on the floor to pick something up, and got severe ammonia burns on her knee/leg. This place was that bad. On the plus side, it had loads of pool tables guaranteeing you always got a game, the beer was cheep and it only played rock music. I mention this so you can understand the shame I felt for being kicked out “For making a mess”. Now back to the story.
In all the mess of the pub, they had one object of pride and joy. A pool table with purple felt and balls that glowed under the overhead black lights. Now this evening no one was playing on this table, I was sitting on the end of it drink in hand, and *GirlsName* was sat next to me, and we were harmlessly flirting. (A bit tactless of me as two X’s were sat on a table in front of us).
The rest of our group were stood about, when one of the Barstaff noticed someone had spilt their Pint all over the table. We of course all denied anything to do with it, and we would have got away with it as well, only Ax decided to speed up the proof we were innocent by standing in front of the BarStaff and holding up his empty hands said “It cant be us, look I don’t even have a drink!” Which only helped condemn us. Empty pint glass on table, beer everywhere, and a empty handed person standing next to it. I would not mind but that night he was our designated driver, and not drinking.
So we were kicked out. *GirlsName*’s friend said they really had to leave as *GirlsName* had work early in the morning. So being the Gentlemen we were, We offered to walk them to the Bus station. Which went well at the start. Alas I have a really small boredom threshold. So when we started walking past a road that led to my Second Favourite pub at the time, I grabbed *GirsName* threw her over my shoulder and ran off with her to the Pub to continue drinking. This action caused her friend to go mad, lots of raised voices, and a deal that we all have another drink, and our designated driver would give them a lift home, so all would be fine.
I’ll end the story there, Since the main two facts. 1)Getting kicked out of the Kings, and 2) Being thrown over my shoulder and kidnapped to a pub, should have been enough to prove to my niece that I’ve known *GirlsName* for many years.
Notes:
Today’s Post Title is from the classic “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix. And was the first Song with Purple in its title that I thought off. The colour Purple plays an important part in all my memories of the aforementioned girl.
*GirlsName* is used because I do not like using Peoples IRL Names without first checking its OK with them.