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Latest News and Blog Posts from Wayne “Pendragon” Owens.
FAQ: Spod? Spod? What the Frak is a Spod?
I often refer to myself as a SPOD. due to my years Spodding on different telnet talkers and the like, Unfortunately I now often get asked “What is a Spod?” from the uninitiated youngsters that litter the Interwebs these days. So since its a semi-FAQ I hunted out the old description of Spod from the help files on some Talkers that are still floating about if you know where to look.
Spod (n)
– A person who is nearly always found slumped over a keyboard, usually from the minute they awaken (if they even slept at all) to the minute they pass-out on their keyboard.
Classic examples of spods are : Athanasius, Psmith, Pendragon and Sparky.
Generally you can tell a spod from a room full of ppl as he/she will be the one having a conversation with another person in the room using the computer.
Note: A spod can always type faster than he/she can write:)
A spod is easily distinguished by the following characteristics:
1. Extraordinarily long login times to talkers and/or Muds
2. Knows a dangerous amount of info about the internet – more than any person should.
3. Often known to break into computer labs after hours just to telnet.
4. Sometimes name their favorite terminals
5. Often witness beautiful sunrises and/or sunsets… from a computer terminal.
6. Spod Eyes syndrome – Eyes feel as if they will not budge after long hours spent at a terminal.
Assassins Creed Brotherhood AKA You can’t Run but You can Hide!
Last night I was sitting with my feet up watching an episode of Babylon 5 as part of #TheGreatBab5Watch, following on from #TheGreatTNGReWatch (These are matters for a different post). Anyway, there I was just finishing the episode that was on, and considering if I should start the next episode or make a trip to the fridge for a cold beer when *ding ding* My mobile goes off with a message from PlanetPete “Internet playing up still? I’m on acb“. Well that made my decision for me, I’d not played on online for a while, and had only had one game of Assassins Creed Brotherhood online, so it seemed a great Idea.
It was suggested since I was unfamiliar with the game that we would play a couple of rounds in a private match, before playing on open games online with groups of people. I must say the private matches first was needed to get into the needed mindset. Now we were playing Hunted(I think the game types called) *EDIT: “I Have been reminded the name was ‘Manhunt’” Basically ‘Hide & Seek’ with a death thrown in at the end. There are two groups, One are assassins with the job of finding and killing the other group, who are trying their best to hide. You then switch half way through.
I have to say it was a good nights gaming, and AC Brotherhood is a very fun game to play. As can be shown by some of the comments of the evening.
“Ha! take that, I kill you!”
“That wasn’t me you just killed?”
“I know, but he got in my way and had to die!”
* * * * *
“You realise that was a normal woman you killed? and not the kind we’re hunting?”
“Yes but she ran!”
“Just because they run does not mean its the target”
“BUT SHE RAN! she had to die!”
* * * * *
“You Ok?”
“Yes. I’m just running around killing pretty ladies! That doesn’t make me a bad person”
“err No”
* * * * *
“ARGGGH!!! I just been killed by an evil monk!”
“Yes. I am Rasputin!”
* * * * *
“The Doctors rubbish, I dont like him”
“Why?”
“My skirt gets in the way climbing buildings!”
“yes but you looked like the Batman when you jumped off”
* * * * *
“Ha, I’m the king of the castle!”
“You up on the roofs?”
“Yes! They’ll never find me where I’m hiding… ARSE!!! I just got killed”
.
FAQ: Will you Marry me?
OK, the title of this post looks wrong. I do not mean that “Will you marry me?” is becoming a FAQ, In fact I think it’s only been asked once by a semi-anonymous person on Formspring. What is becoming a FAQ is the question “Why would you want to be asked `Will you marry me?`” so I figured to save me having to answer the question more than once (and twitter has a 140 character limit) I’d answer it here.
I should explain for anyone who missed the origin of this, that it all begins with a Formspring Question I was asked.
What is the one questions you would most like to be asked on here? Only the questions, not the answer or reason
To which I answered :-
“Would you like this iPad for free?” or “Will you marry me”
Now, since the original question said only the question, not the answer or reason, I left it at that. Or I would have if people were not confused by the “Will you marry me” part of the answer, and started asking why I would like to be asked that.
So I will point out now to quieten the questioners, I would like that question on formspring from someone I was in a long term serious relationship with. Since it would mean I was in a long term serious relationship :). That is all it’s about. So my Answer is more about the person who would ask the question, rather than the question itself.
See, there is no big conspiracy, or mystery. So can normal service now resume?
Review – Butterfly Tai Chi – Feel healthier & Calmer in 20 mins a day
I got back to the Ninja Temple last night to find an envelope waiting for me containing a copy of “Butterfly Tai Chi“. I had been wanting to watch this since I first saw the clips/info about it when it was being filmed. I should point out I have a slight background in BaGua, and have been interested in the concept of TaiChi for a while now. Since I have been meaning to get into it for a while, I was interested in the Butterfly TaiChi with its advertised “Take just twenty minutes out of your day to practice the seven simple elegant movements of Butterfly Tai Chi you will feel healthier happier and more energised“. Twenty minutes a day? I can find time for that, especially it it does not require much floor space.
I watched the DVD last night, It comes in three parts 1)A Warm-up, 2)The Basic Set, & 3) Advanced set. The techniques are simple to follow, and the instructor explains the moves well including any health benefits. Unlike some other DVD’s I have seen in this area the moves were explained simply for people without any previous training, and instructions were given on how to adapt the moves while you are learning, and that its better to get the feeling right than exactly mimic the instructor on the screen. Overall the feeling from watching the DVD was almost like having a one on one session with a trainer in a friendly atmosphere than a more technical manual of what you should be doing.
I did not try out the moves (err something to do with beer in the temple fridge) but I am looking forward to planning to set aside some time to start following the system. And I’ll post a practitioners review after I’ve spent a while trying the moves.
For those interested in more information on Butterfly Tai Chi, you can visit the website at http://butterflytaichi.co.uk/
What Skill/Talent is most useful during the Zombie Apocalypse?
Zombies are a popular cultural theme at the moment, with a silly amount of computer games from all genres (Western, Army, Etc) having “Zombie SubGames”. And there’s the current hit show “The Walking Dead” not to mention the resurgence in Zombie Films.
They also hold a special place in the hearts of Geeks all over the world, and we here at the Insane Asylum are no different. In fact they have been a constant topic of conversation for years here, due to one of the Inmates having both a fascination and a fear of them. As such we often discuss methods of surviving the inevitable Apocalypse, and what they did wrong in different shows/films.
As such I have a carefully worked out survival plan in the back of my mind that is constantly being updated and added too. I also keep a mental subconscious tracking of where the nearest place to collect weapons is depending on where I am at the time of the outbreak. Now this random thinking while driving, working, etc. has recently brought up a question in my mind. “What is the most valuable Skill/Talent you need someone in your group to have to increase your chances of survival?” I have asked several people (See I do my research) and they all got the answer wrong, but in fairness I will post some of their suggestions.
Weapons Training
The ability to load, clean, fire a variety of Firearms is a staple skill in most Zombie fiction. Getting a headshot from a distance with random guns is not an easy task unless you are trained in eyeing in the sights, or are a good shot, both which are skills that need to be trained or practised. You give a rifle to a random person off the street and try and get them to his a head sized object from a distance. Or maybe short range weapons, like Swords, Machetes, Baseball bats, they still need some skill or strength to use properly. So weapons skills are a very handy skill to have to help survival chances, but they are not the most useful, after all how much skill does it need to hit someone with a shotgun?
Survival Skills
AH, the ability to survive in the wilds where there are not many dead. The skills of hunting (both for food and zombie killing), foraging, trapping, etc. Do you know what plants are safe to eat? can you make a fire without matches? can you survive in the wilderness? These too are very handy sills that could make the difference between life & death.
Medical Skills
This goes without saying for the obvious. In a time where hospitals are closed, and GP’s are a thing of the past something as simple as a broken bone, or open cut can go from being a treatable injury to a life threatening one without medical treatment. There is also a possible little thought of use for medical skills. Say you got a shallow bit on you from a zombie, could a Medic drain the blood from you in that area, and flay off the surrounding skin and prevent you becoming infected? Could their skills then help you survive and heal?
Engineering
Ah, the old skill set for sorting out electricity, vehicles, fortifying encampments, repairing equipment and keeping everything running and giving us our advantage of technology. Engineers will be worth their weight in gold in any apocalypse.
Military Training
I’m listing this one as it tends to be one of the most popular answers, since it generally includes weapons training, survival skills, basic field medical skills, tactics, and a load of other valuable skills that you need during any time of struggle.
And the correct answer is, and this is going to come as a surprise, “Socio-path” I know you may call it a mental disorder more than a talent, but I think in the time of the Zombie Apocalypse we should reclassify it a survival talent. Some of you are probably scratching your head about now, so let me explain my theory. Think about every zombie film/tv show you have ever watched, think about all the super soldiers, cops, etc. in those shows. Now consider how often the following scenarios happen?
1) The person/group are travelling and they see a small child alone looking scared, so they move in to comfort the child. Only as they get in grabbing range they discover the child is a zombie and a portion of their group is killed/infected before they manage to kill it. Consider the socio-path, They see a small child and think “no way a kid that young could survive alone in the open in a zombie infested area” *BANG* dead kid, no team members hurt.
2) A member of the group is bitten, but still unchanged so the rest of the group keep them with them either to help fight the zombies, or in a hope they will get better. In all cases as soon as your best friend/partner/whatever turns they attack and always manage to kill/infect a good chunk of the group. Lets consider the Socio-path again, Team member is bit *BANG* dead team member, but no further death/infection.
You need someone with the mindset of a socio-path to do the tasks we all know is needed, but which the average “normal” person is not naturally equipped to do since they are burdened by guilt, conscious, etc.
So remember come the Apocalypse find yourself some high functioning socio-paths to team up with, they may just save your life.
In the Shadow of The Chair
In November I enter the Chair of King Solomon, and as the shadow of that chair starts to fall on me, I am beginning to feel the nerves awaken. My original plan was to enjoy my year as SW and ignore the chair until half way through the year, and then start to worry. Alas this plan has gone the way of so many plans over time.
The Shadow first made its presence felt last December at our Christmas Social. Half way through the meal, our ADC who was sat opposite me started asking how I was doing looking at the bits to learn for Installation (And we had only just had the last Installation at our last meeting). I informed him that the event was not till next year so I had made no start yet. The Shadow slipped out of site for the rest of the meal, only to return at the end and grab me by the arm in the guise of the Treasurer. “I’m just going to pay the bill and was wondering. Do you want me to provisionally re-book the place for next year?”
On Saturday we had a rehearsal for our next meeting. As we were all greeting each other and wishing “Happy New Year” and catching up, the Shadow tapped me on the shoulder and took me to one side. “Happy New Year, so have you considered who you would like as Organist & Singer for Nov? you need to book them early” *MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* and my answer of “It’s not till next year” is now invalid.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to my year in the Chair. It’s just that I am feeling the nerves of the responsibility (I’m a naturally shy person). And I will do the required planning/learning but I’d just wish the Shadow would let me at least have a few nights as SW before I have to worry.
Busby and the Tape of RED
I know “Red Tape” is often required, and there are sometimes valid reasons for having it, but the people with the tape should have the sense to spot when they fall into a recursive loop and have the ability to produce “The Scissors of Doom” to sort things out. Let me give you an example, and its a real life example. I know because it happened to me, earlier this week.
Phone Conversation over BETA testing some new Busby servers/systems
Busby: “Can you confirm you can connect to the server fine?“
WO: “Yes, I confirm that, and i sent in signed form saying so.“
Busby: “Good. Can you confirm you downloaded our test file ok?“
WO: “What’s the file name, I’ll grab it now. I’ve been using your new systems for other departments, so the server area is full of files.“
Busby: “Our systems team say since you are already using the system there is no test file.“
WO: “ok“
Busby: “So can you confirm you downloaded our test file?“
WO: “But there is no test file?“
Busby: “You need to download our test file to show you can connect OK then we can move on.”
WO: “Talk to you main sys.admin. I tested connection to your server when you first set it up. I helped with the speed tests with the different secure connections, and port ranges. I was one of the first non Busby people using the system.“
Busby: “So can you confirm you downloaded our test file?“
WO: “ARGGHHHHHH!”
Vampiric Eye Revisited
This Christmas I was afflicted with “Vampiric Eye” again (Or iritis for those of you who like medical terms). Now there is nothing special about this, other than I am getting slowly fed up of the repeated outbreaks, and there will be vengeance on whatever is the cause (And there may be a new clue).
I only mention this outbreak now as I am reminded of the great “Bedside Manner” of the Doctors who treated me in A&E, and the great way they put my mind at rest, and alleviated worry.
I turned up at A&E since the eye outpatients was closed over the Christmas holidays. I signed myself in and waited upon Triage, I should have been tipped off it was not going to be a good day when I got Triaged twice by two different nurses. Eventually I made it into the examining rooms and was seen by a young Doctor, who was confused by the state of my eye, and just kept muttering to himself (Possibly a curse to ward off the evil eye?). After a while, he asks me to wait while he goes to find a senior Doctor since he admits to being clueless.
The Senior Doctor working in the A&E comes to see me, He looks at my eye and starts muttering to himself. He then calls the junior one over and they start talking to themselves.. “Have you seen the shape of the eye? why is it that shape?“, “Have you ever seen one bulging like that? its all swollen“, “Wow, its like the inside is all full of gray puss“. All the while I am sat there, in earshot, in pain, and getting worried.
The senior Doc returns to me and says with full confidence. “Could you go back and wait in the waiting room please, we don’t know whats going on so we are calling an eye specialist to come in to the hospital to look at you!“. Great, its Xmas time, and a Doctor is being phoned up at home, to travel through the snow to the local hospital to look at me, I sense painful eye prodding & drops in my future.
My eye is 90% fine as of Wednesday, So I feel I can poke fun at the events involved.
The Year That Was – 2010
Its that time of year again.
Where I look back over the previous year and answer the same 40 questions.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
OK, New things :-
- Give the Speech/Toast to the Master at an Installation Meeting.
- Write & Give toasts as part of the course.
- Get asked to review a best-selling authors book, and get a Signed pre-release copy of the next book due out next year.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No, I failed miserably, but this year I have a cunning plan. I am only making 2 resolutions, with a third possible bonus one. This way, with less things to fail I am hoping I have more chance of sticking to them.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not really, I believe my cousin became a grandmother? But we’re not what you would call close.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully No. Although I did loose a Masonic “Brother” whom I looked up to.
5. What countries did you visit?
I did not leave the UK in 2010, so just Wales/England were visited.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Tricky Question. Err True Love 🙂 Or a Long term relationship with an Intelligent Woman.
Or I’d settle for a Helicopter, Harley, £10Million, or a tablet device.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- 4th November – It was the date that the big chair came into view, and my years run up to the Masters job started.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I think getting a signed copy of a bestsellers next book well before its 1st print date. And from my blogging alone.
9. What was your biggest failure?
My failure to stick to any of my resolutions? The fact I have still not conquered my shyness?
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
YES. Iritis. Several cases actually, In fact as I write this I am currently Blind in my right eye. Great way to spend Christmas right, semi-blind.
I believe I have an eye based allergy to some animals.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My PS3 to go along with my Xbox 360 Elite & Wii.
Yes I know. *Stands up* “Hi, My name is Wayne and I’m a gamer!”
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
- My Niece, for still trying her best at her last Karate competition even thought the Instructors had admitted it was a fix and her club had no chance of winning. She still tried her best unlike a lot of the others.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
The outgoing Labor Chancellor of the Exchequer, Who wasted what little money there was in the countries coffers on pointless things, then left a sarcastic note to his successor about haha the cupboards bare.
That and a certain Bully who has added another notch to his forced out the company post.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Diesel, Diesel, Computer Games, Diesel. (£1.30/liter is just silly).
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Assassins Creed: Brotherhood, Iron Man 2, Fallout: New Vegas,
And finally meeting some people I’ve known IVL for 16 Years, but never met IRL.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Any song from the soundtrack to “Dr Horribles Sing-a-long-Blog” Since it was played every Friday in the Padded Cell at the Asylum this year.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- a) happier or sadder? Same
- b) thinner or fatter? Fatter
- c) richer or poorer? Poorer (Due to economy, rising petrol prices, VAT hikes, etc.)
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Falling in Love, Writing, Following my Dreams, Conquering the World, Finding a cure for the common cold and blackmailing people for the cure, You know, the simple pleasures in life.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? .
Putting drops in my eye. Stupid “Vampire Eye”,
The next dog that sets foot into my office gets burnt!
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with the Family, My parents like to have the whole family around from Christmas Eve till after Boxing Day.
I may have spent some time training in the Martial Arts, I may (according to some) be a sociopath, BUT I am not brave enough to upset the MOM.
21. What was your favourite month of 2010?
November, Because it started off my final year leading up to the BIG DAY.
22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Sadly No. But I am hoping destiny/The Stars/Fate takes pity on me in 2011.
23. How many one-night stands?
No one night stands, I am not that kind of a man.
Besides you should always try everything at least twice to see if you like it 🙂
24. What was your favourite TV programme?
Way too many to mention :-
- NCIS.
- The Guild.
- Psyche.
- The Mentalist.
- Fringe.
- Bones.
- Walking Dead.
- Mythbusters.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope, “The List” has gained no new names this year.
26. What was the best book you read?
Fiction: The latest Harry Dresden Book.
None Fiction: The Masonic Magician.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
NerdCore, Jonathan Coulton, Mc Frontalot, Paul & Storm.
28. What did you want and get?
A hard drive for my Wii? Several Books & Games I really Wanted, A pair of gloves.
29. What did you want and not get?
A Tablet. But not an iPad, I wanted a decent Linux based alternative with more functionality, Only they have not released the ones I’ve been holding out for. If they wait much later I will destroy what’s left of my soul and get an iPad.
Oh and a HobGoblin the other Tuesday.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
- Iron Man 2.
- Tron Legacy.
- Sorcerers Apprentice.
- ZombieLand.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I got drunk till I forgot my age. 🙂
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Love or a working Light Saber.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Same as always, semi-scruffy day wear (work) Smart casual otherwise.
Oh and suits, because suits are awesome…… True story
34. What kept you sane?
The voices in my head telling me I was sane and normal. Oh and I do have that magic stone I purchased off a traveling merchant that keeps away tigers & insanity.
That or Talking to people on Twitter, Facebook, IM, etc.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Felica Day.
Well she’s attractive, Intelligent (Has a mathematics degree), Talented (She’s a singer, Actress, Writer, Director), She’s a Gamer/geek and grew up with a subscription to 2600 magazine. What’s not to like, she’s my ideal woman.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Hung Parliament, and the fact that even though the country was falling apart due to a sustained labor government, we as a nation could not make up our minds to try something new and pick an alternative government.
37. Who did you miss?
I miss no one. I’m a marksman I am.
*muhahahaha*
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Several New friends on Twitter. Who are all special in their own ways.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010?.
If you put your mind into it, and follow it through, you can make good things happen.
Also, I hate Vampire Eye!
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
You look at Mr. Fancy Pants and hold the trophy high,
Everybody cheers
While he’s blinking back the tears,
He doesn’t even have the best pants
Sometimes doing the Sensible thing bites you in the Arse
I recently installed an application on my Phone called “System”, It’s a handy little app that gives you information on you phones memory, processes, disk, batter, and general info. It’s a handy Application for checking your phone, or getting info from it.
The first time I used it, after installation it told me off. “Apparently” I had never done a “Full Charge” since having the phone. What my phone explained to me was this, “Batteries degrade with time, and the memory and life of the battery is constantly getting smaller. So over time the charge lasts less and less. Now if you do a full charge every so often you can extend the life of your battery” This is a good thing, so I read the instructions which were as simple as 1)let your battery get below 20% charge, 2)start system, 3)plug in charger and accept full charge. So I made a mental note to do this at some point.
Last night was that point. I noticed about 10pmish that my phone was down to 6% battery and needed charging, so I figured why not do a full charge. On plugging in the phone and accepting the prompt for full charge, I was given a message saying “Time to full charge 1h 50m”. So I left the phone plugged in and went to watch Star Trek (the reboot one).
<Sideways Tangent>
So the reboot Star Trek ends with Spock Prime going off with the few surviving Vulcan’s to try and build a new world. Now am I the only one thinking this is a stupid ending?
How many times in the TV series & Films has Spock gone back in time? He’s almost a big a time traveller as the Doctor! And he just lost his homeworld, and most his race. Surely that would be a good reason to go back in time and fix it. You could go back a few weeks and evacuate the planet so that no Vulcan’s die in the attack?
Or he could jump back a few years and use his knowledge of future technology to help build a starship with weaponry & shielding to defeat the attacking ship?
Hell he could even just go destroy Romulus now, which means Nero would never be born, and hence be unable to come back in time to change the future. Or do nothing since now Vulcan has been destroyed, then they will not be the technologically advanced race in the future, and so will not be able to invent and build a red matter powered ship, thereby preventing the wormhole being created that brought Nero back into the past to destroy them. Of course If they don’t invent the red matter ship, then they will not get destroyed allowing them to advance to the point they create the red matter ship.
Arggghhhh. This film just created an unending time loop.
</Sideways Tangent>
Before going to bed I checked the phone, it claimed the full charge was done, and it was just doing a trickle charge test which would not take long. So I left the phone plugged in and went to sleep.
at 4AM I was woken by a large siren going off. Turns out that there’s a hidden option on “System” to have a full charge finish alarm or not. And that the soon to be finished trickle test goes on for quiet a while. *mutter* *mutter*
So, where as I recommend people to do their best to extend the life of their phones battery, I suggest they turn off any annoying alarms.