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Latest News and Blog Posts from Wayne “Pendragon” Owens.
Weekend Wanderings
This weekend I went a wandering. Well not really far wanderings, but wanderings nether the less. And wanderings covering two countries (Three if you count Bala as its own country) So I thought I was share my wanderings to you dear Readers (And it helps me remember where I was, and what I was doing).
Saturday.
Late Saturday afternoon I went to visit PlanetPete, Well it was later than originally planned due to a slight incident requiring me to cut my super-glued fingers apart (Yes! I know apparently nail-varnish remover, or similar will wash off the glue easy, but I’m male, I use a knife, and the bigger the knife the better). Now before you start wondering about my personal space-craft which I may or may not have reverse engineered from the UFO crash in the hills near Corwen, I shall point out PlanetPete is currently located in the English land known as Chester.
I eventually made it with a fully working set of fingers with no cuts at all, rang the doorbell with a cheerful greeting of “Avon Calling” only to get door slammed shut in my face. *dejected Arr* I tried again without the Avon catalogue that I’d found on the floor, and my second attempt got me into the building, Where I was set upon by Cerberus and the hounds of hell themselves! Or Jeff, Indie, & Hunni Who seemed pleased to see me, like they had not seen me in years. Well they hadn’t really, and Indie had never met me before. Luckily they are all great dogs, and the change in Jeff from the days when he used to work in the Insane Asylum is remarkable.
After the important greetings were out the way, I was able to greet the Human occupants, grab a coffee and make it to a chair sit down and relax while the dogs brought their toys to show me, and competed for attention (But in a behaved way). The humans then got a chance to catch up, see how everyone was getting along, what was new in the world. Commiserations were given to H for having to work on a Saturday, The light was pointed out as still waiting on us getting around to correcting the design oversight we built it with err too many years ago. (Sheeeesh! Wheres the time gone?) Food was set up to start cooking, instructions were given that we were to listen out for the Ding, and a film was chosen to be watched.
The film was Skyline and was showing on Sky BoxOffice. The only problem was BoxOffice was not working, and just getting worse and worse to the point Skys Technical Support Line were called. And after ten minutes of dealing with the issue a correction procedure was dictated to PlanetPete to follow. And its kind of comforting to know, no matter what the problem you have is, no matter what kind of technical support people are called, when it comes down to it the same solution is given “Have you tried turning it off and on again!”
This procedure as always corrected the problem(ish) and we were able to watch Skyline, a film all about a group of people trying to stay out of the light, which was interesting as we later watched Tron: Legacy which is a film all about a group of people trying to get to the light.
A rather nice (And I’m sure I’ll be corrected if I get this wrong) Chicken, Bacon Pasta Bake? was eaten, Coke was drunk, and an enjoyable evening was had by all. Until it was time to leave, rob a bank to get the fund to fill up with diesel and make the return trip to Wales.
Thanks H & PlanetPete for a enjoyable evening.
Sunday
Since Sunday was a lovely sunny day, and my father mentioned he was going to go for a ride on his bike to check it out after its winters storage, I decided to go along with him in a support vehicle. So it was almost a family day out, as my Sister & Niece were also along for the day.
We went to Bala lake, for ice cream and to enjoy the sun. Teggy was not spotted, but I was amused watching some man put his boat on its side to fit its mast more easily, and then start panicking as the boat filled with water.
We also visited the Ponderosa up at the Horseshoe Pass in time to get there as the local biker egg run was arriving. And I discovered some women can look hot while riding a big bike in a fluffy rabbit outfit (Maybe I need professional help?)
So all in all it was a good way to spend one of the first warm & sunny weekends we’ve had this year.
Vampiric Eye Update
I arrive at the hospital in plenty of time and try and park in the car-park near the eye outpatients, No Room, So I try the several staff car parks close to that end of the hospital (I may, or may not have acquired a staff parking permit for my car) No Room. OK, so there is a car-park half way along the hospital complex, No Room. The staff car-park near the middle of the complex? No Room. The huge main car-park at the other end of the hospital to where I need to be? No Room. The overflow massive car-park that’s been built on the far end of the main car-park? No Room. At this point I would have happily parked on a manger in a stable!. Right there is a bit of wasteland at the end of the overflow car-park where people park if there is no where else left? No Room!! At this point I remember I’m driving a 4×4 and park it “off road”
Its Raining, and I have approximately a 3/4 mile walk through the various car-parks to get to the hospital, and then a 1/2 mile walk to get to the opposite side of the hospital where my appointment is in 18 minutes! Did I mention its raining?
So I get into the eye outpatients slightly bedraggled from the rain, and out of breath from the speed walking. I report to the receptionist who disappointedly is not the cute friendly one who always remembers my name, but some other one. I explain I have an appointment, confirm my address to prove who I am and get asked :-
Receptionist: “Have you moved house since you were last here?“
WO: “err no! I just confirmed my address to you?“
Receptionist: “Have you changed surgery or doctors since you were last here?“
WO: “err no! I would have informed you, I just want my appointment! please can I sit down“
Receptionist: “Its sometimes like you live here isnt it?“
WO: “err yes” *smiles disarmingly as I back slowly away without making any sudden movements to a seat*
The waiting game begins, So I start writing a blog post about an update to my Vampiric eye syndrome, not this blog post, oh no. I wrote a post of several hundred words, using the wordpress iPhone App, and saved it to “local drafts” only for it to vanish into the void. I then get called for an eye test before moving to another waiting area to wait to see the actual doctor.
I should point out stupidity of the eye test station. You go in and read the letters off the board for them to measure your eye sight level. Only you are there due to some eye problem, Myself I’m on eye drops that tend to dilute eye and make everything fuzzy, so have yet to go into eye test room when I could see the board with the drop affected eye. I also have them confused as there are two identical test rooms, with identical eye charts, Yet if I am in the right hand room I can see several lines further down the chart than I can in the left hand room.
So I make it to the final waiting room, and boy does this room live up to its name, and then some! I was here for over an hour. It’s not their fault really, the eye outpatient department is the busiest department in the hospital (Well maybe apart from A&E on a Saturday night) So the place is always packed to capacity. Then you have the fact they have a special infectious eye clinic on the second Wednesday of the month (to add even more people to the overcrowdedness) And to top it all off today, they were a Doctor down, and then a second Doctor was called out to an emergency, meaning the remaining Doctors had to see their patients as well as the missing Doctors patients. So this meant I had an hours wait, and there was no WiFi available for me to use, and no phone signal.
So, to recap, I had a stupidly long walk through the rain to get here, I’ve been waiting bored out my head for about an hour and a half in total. And how long am I in with the Doc for? FIVE MINUTES! Long enough to say Hi, her to check my eye, declare its looking good, and lower my drops, and say she will see me in two months.
I hate Hospitals!!!!!!!
Death Threats & Dinner Suits
Saturday evening I was at the Llannerch & Gredington Lodge’s Joint “Ladies Evening” in Llangollen. The evening was a formal event so the dress code was Dinner suits, dress shirts, bow-ties, the works. The majority of the evening was very enjoyable, with good company, great food, beer, etc. and Several hundred pounds were raised for charity just from raffle tickets alone.
In fact the evening was enjoyable right up until it was time to do the toasts, of which there were two. Firstly the Master of Llannerch got up to give a quick toast of “The Queen“. The other toast of the evening was “The Ladies” and was to be a longer toast more like a speech.
And which poor victim was designated with this responsibility?
Yes you guessed it, My good self!. Now I should take a second here to point out this was the first “Ladies Night” I had been to, and as such had never seen or heard a ladies toast before, so had no bearing to work from.
I should also point out I am a shy person, So standing up in front of over a hundred people who regularly attend such functions to perform the toast was terrifying. So I start into my spiel, and it seems to be going ok, the ladies present seem to be cheering, and agreeing with what I’m saying and “tutting” at their escorts, while the Men seem to be more growling at me, and denying things. Well I finished my bit and got to sit back down again.
The Toast:
Ladies and gentlemen, brethren and guests,
It is my honour and privilege, to give this the most important toast of the evening. To express on behalf of all the gentlemen present our deep appreciation of our Ladies. If you look in the dictionary, you will see the word appreciation is defined as “valuation at its true worth” or “being grateful for”. I sometimes wonder, brethren, if we always value the innumerable good qualities possessed by our ladies at their true worth, or indeed are truly grateful for them in our everyday lives.
It occurs to me sometimes, and this evening in particular, that we may not always be conscious of the great sacrifice made by our ladies in surrendering the pleasure of our company to the call of the Lodge: and this not only on Lodge nights, but also for Lodge of Instruction, visiting other Lodges, and so on.
This Ladies’ Night provides us with an opportunity to make some small amend for our neglect, and maybe to say a few of the flattering things which we too often omit on less glamorous occasions. So, I shall proclaim at once that woman is not man’s equal: she is his superior. What is more she looks his superior; for as my gaze wanders around the tables I am struck by the fact that all the ladies look so much younger and more beautiful than their escorts!
Gentlemen and brethren, we spend, it is true, many happy hours away from the company of our ladies, particularly on Masonic occasions, but how much happier we are in their company on a night like tonight! As mere men, we know we can never adequately repay our ladies for all they do for us, but we hope they will take the will for the deed and look upon this evening as some small recompense.
So, ladies, let me assure you on behalf of all the gentlemen present, that we admire you for your beauty, respect you for your intelligence, and love you for your virtue. That being the case, I shall now call upon all the gentlemen present to be upstanding and to drink a toast to the long life, health and happiness of THE LADIES.
Later on that evening while standing about drinking with a couple of other men I received death threats, and quotes like :-
- “How could you stand there and say those things!!! Don’t you realise what you’ve done???”
- “My wife wants breakfast in bed tomorrow now”
- “I have to get flowers after”
- “How you say that? what you doing??”
- “Don’t worry we’ll get him later“
I did point out to them that I am currently Single, and if they go and pick on a single bloke to make the ladies toast, then they have to expect to live with whatever damage he decides to cause. 🙂
Secret Government Base?
This morning on my way to the Insane Asylum I had to stop off at a small garage (Gas Station) to fill up my vehicle with diesel. Nothing special about that, It happens at least once a week, or more commonly twice a week due to my superstition about filling up my tank in one go (Which I may explain at some point in the future). Now the reason I’m blogging about a common, normal everyday activity is the following.
I pulled into the strangely busy Garage forecourt, which normally has one or maybe two cars parked to either fill-up or use the shop. I once saw it on a particularly busy day with four cars there. This morning, including my car there was one vehicle at every pump (So eight in total) with a further nine parked at different parts of the small forecourt. Seventeen Cars, SEVENTEEN!
Now as I filled up, I was the only person in sight. All the cars were empty, and no one was walking about. When I walked into the Garage itself (which I should point out is a small room, with a counter, and a small office/toilet at the back which you could fit maybe three people in if they were “very familiar”) One man walked out. There was also one person behind the counter serving, So with myself three people to account for seventeen cars? SEVENTEEN? where were the other fourteen people? there was no way they could all be in the back room. In fact the only way they could be in the building at all would be if there was some sort of secret government facility underneath the garage.
Well I guess, Zombie outbreak?, Mass murderess who kidnap customers and throw them into an empty underground fuel store “It puts the lotion on its skin, else it gets the hose again!“?, Alien abduction? are also possibilities, but I tell you this now, I for one will not be using that particular garage again unarmed.
The Swiss Army CodeNinja
Its been a while since I have vented my spleen on here about the things that go on at the Asylum. So I thought I would take some time out and have a little “Vent“.
I was originally hired at the Asylum as a Developer, and advanced my way up the ranks to Head of Development, then after an asylum wide reshuffle I relocated to the Systems Department as a Linux Sys.Admin.
Now I occasionally get thrown small development jobs are are complicated or in a rush, which is fine as we all like to help each other out. Only now its getting a bit silly.
I’m thrown Dev job after Dev job and told theres more coming in (am I a dev again?)
Then “Oh can you just make some android apps for layar?” (I know nothing about phone dev, and not done any programing in many many years)
Followed by “I’ve ordered a Mac Mini, so you can start on making some layar based iPhone apps now” (Ignoring the facts 1)I’ve never used a mac 2)I know nothing about using mac’s or mac software & 3) I know nothing about programing iPhones)
Now I’ve been asked to take part in a conference call to deal with a customer who’s website is bringing down the windows server its hosted on to discuss best ways of resolving these issues. (err I barley use Windows as a user unless I really have to, and that’s normal windows, I know nothing about Windows servers. I think our Windows Server guy would have been a better choice for this call)
And that’s just this week.
So here I am, your friendly neighbourhood Swiss-army CodeNinja
Modern Warfare Camping V Running
Modern Warfare2 (MW2) is the sixth instalment in the Call of Duty (COD) Series. And its a game I’ve been playing a bit of recently, since it is the lowest common denominator among the group of :- PlanetPete, CampyPhil, MIAdave, StabbyJason & Myself. And since we’ve been playing private matches a lot, I’ve been plying TDM online to unlock better weapons/perks.
Playing online I have noticed the voice channel is now mostly filled with insults, threats, and abuse (a lot more than it ever used to be). And its all aimed in the same direction. Against anyone staying in one spot (Camping) or using sniper rifles, or scopes, thermal, claymores, or any tactic or action that is not just running around with a high unlocked gun and shooting (Run N’ Gun)
Now the main contention seems to be, that if you do anything other than Run N’ Gun you are 1)Cheating, 2)Not playing the Game correctly, 3)Scum, 4)A noob, 5)INSERT ANY DEROGATORY TERM, 6)Not worth playing with, 7)etc. And you should just quit playing the game since your cheating is ruining it for everyone else. All this with more filth and swear words than I ever heard working on building sites.
This abuse has got me thinking. If snipers, scopes, thermal, are cheating and are not to be used then why does the game have these weapons, accessories, & perks? Why in the default class list you are given is there a sniper? since you can not Run N’ Gun with a sniper rifle?
Also why is anyone not doing the Run N’ Gun wrong? the game is set up to handle multiple types of game play. Some people like running about and shooting when they see people mindlessly, where as other people prefer the more stealthy killing of snipers, knives, etc. Why is either one wrong? the games Modern Warfare, and warfare has many ways?
So can we please just accept everyone plays games in different ways, and just get along, If you keep getting killed by a Camper when you run into one building, stop running in, try throwing a grenade, or run about another part of the map.
The one that gets me is I’ve seen some of these people who verbally abuse campers until they quit the game, hide in a corner and shoot people then a bit later run to a different corner and hide to shoot people, well is that not “Camping“?
So people, we are all gamers, lets learn to play nice together, and if it really bugs you people using the weapons, perks, & tactics the game providers, then maybe you should find a different FPS that does not have those weapons and go play there, and let those of us who don’t mind what tactics people use to be able to play the game without listening to the abuse.
Footnote:
I’m adding this out of fairness, I do like the sniper in COD, I like sneaky, stealthy, clever kills. I like using my brain, and I remember my ACF training, “see without being seen, kill without being killed“. But saying that, I have 1of5 classes set up as a sniper, the other 4 are run n’ gun classes, so I play both, and I don’t mind what other people do.
Hell, maybe we should start accusing those with huge HD TV’s as cheating as they can see better than those with small old TV’s?
From The Bookshelf: Blacklands
‘Dear Mr Avery,
I am looking for WP. Can you help me?
Sincerely,
SL, 111 Barnstaple Road, Shipcott, Somerset.’
He was only twelve, he reasoned; he couldn’t be expected to get stuff like writing to serial killers right first time.
Belinda Bauer
Blacklands is the début novel by Belinda Bauer, and as first books go you cant do better then having it become an International Bestseller, and winning the The Crime Writers Association Gold Dagger award for Best Crime Novel of the Year.
But what about the story itself?The story is from the point of twelve year old Steven, who lives with his younger brother, downtrodden mother, and obsessed grandmother in an old mouldy, damp house. He’s bulled in school, and only has one friend (Who really isn’t that good a friend at the start of the book). Basically his life sucks!
The reason he ascribes to this suck-age is that his uncle disappeared as a very young child, believed to be the victim of a serial child molester, and burred somewhere on the Exeter moors. Every day his Grandmother just sits looking out the window hoping for the child’s return.
So he decides to get closure for his family by finding the body of his uncle (Who’s room is untouched, with even a half built lego space station on the floor). To this end Steven spends all his out of school time, digging on the moor’s in the hope of finding the body. That is until he hits on the great idea of writing to the imprisoned Avery and ask him where the bodies burred.
This leads to a psychological cat and mouse game played out in coded letters between the twelve year old child and the child molester. This game ends when Avery finds out the age of Steven and stages a break out to go get one last thrill.
That is the basic outline of the book, without giving away any of the plot details. I have to say that its well written, you find yourself drawn into the story at a fast rate, even to the point of creating emotional attachments to the characters. You find yourself hating some of the honest characters, feeling sorry for one of the inmates at the prison, and then having your belief in human nature returned and rebuilt at the end of the book.
Hell any book that gives you a tug of the heart strings over someone knitting a pair of socks is one you know is well written, and defiantly worth a read. I will say its the first book I have read in years that got me actually involved and invested in what happens to the people in the story. And I am looking forward to reading Belinda’s next book.
If you wake up in the morning with your body drained dry of blood, you’ll be afraid of the dark
This morning I had a “Quick” 9am appointment at the local hospital for a cursory check that my recent Vampiric eye illness was fully cleared and all doing ok.
That was the plan, but we all know what they say of the best laid plans, and how they often “Gang aft agley,”
So here I sit, drained dry of blood, with a bruised arm, after hours of tests. I believe they have decided to run every test they could think off, including some I think they made up on the spot to try and track down the actual cause of my Vampiric Eye Syndrome.
Ah, your probably now sitting there thinking . o {Come on? drained of blood? Don’t be so melodramatic!}. Well I was sat in the blood letting chair for quite a while, and every other time in my life I have had blood tests they have taken two tubes of blood. Today they took what looked to be a dozen, Even the blood letter was shocked at the amount of tests being run. Put it this way, when they finally found a vein and started the blood collecting it was squirting quite strongly into the tube, by the time they got to the last tube it was barley a trickle coming out, and she had to keep forcing needle in deeper, and moving it about.
After I was drained of blood I was passed on to the X-ray department, Which was an interesting experience since my last x-ray was on my knee when I was about nine months old. I’m not sure I will be allowed back after I caused slight upset amongst the staff by suggesting they use the machines to peak into Xmas gifts to see what they are. There was also a case of roving hands, but I was polite and endured it.
So now, I get two weeks to recover from these tests before going back and getting the results.
After a certain age you should be banned from new technology
Does anyone remember the old TV series (Or the book it was based on) called “Logan’s Run?” You know the one set in the future where every person has a small jewel in the palm of their hands that starts flashing when they reach a set age. I think we need something similar today, not to “put to sleep” those who reach thirty, but have a cut off age when people are no longer allowed to get new technology.
Let me tell you know why I have decided that this is the course we should follow. This morning before going to work, I popped over to see my parents as I’m looking after their dog for the weekend. Now my Mother has just got herself a new mobile phone, and decided to go for a “smart phone“. So just as I was leaving she asks me “I’ve got a weird shape thing on my phone, what’s it mean?“, I enquire to what it looks like “its a sort of thing, with a bit, and another thing” *turns phone at different angle* “It kind of looks like old video tapes”
I took the phone off her to check and informed her she had a voicemail, and if she clicked on it she could hear the message. So she clicked on it and started listening to the first time use recording, you know the one that tells you how to set a pin, and use the voicemail system. Only my mother removed the phone from her ear as the recording explained what to do “There’s a woman talking about pin’s and hash and stuff, I don’t know what she’s on about”
I sighed and explained you had to listen to the whole message to understand what she was saying, but not to worry as I’ll set it all up later for her. It was then that the voicemail started playing. I know this from my Mothers half of the conversation. “Oh HI, I was just going to call you.” “hello?”, “oh, you’ll be arriving then, do you need a lift” I interjected here “Its a voicemail” I was shusshed with “The woman said I had a message“. “right see you there then“. For my sanity I tried again “Its a voicemail, a recording!”
I then left the house laughing my head off as my mother was saying goodbye to the recording. Old people should not be allowed technology!
I’m not going to lie to you fellas, I’ve been drinking.
The other night a group of us were discussing where and when we first started drinking, who was involved, and trading stories. Its amazing how the practically harmless under-age drinking that happened when we were young, has been replaced with the more serious situation it is today. I wonder if the youth of today got to drink responsibly at a young age, we would have less binge drinking cases as they get older? “Sorry, off on a tangent there! Normal service will now resume“.
During the conversation I was reminded of the first time I was kicked out of a drinking establishment. I’ve not done bad really, just Three times in total. Once for under-age drinking, once for making a mess in an almost derelict pub, and one other. I thought I would share the story with you dear reader, so sit back, grab a pint and begin.
I was about fifteen years old (possibly sixteen, but I think it was fifteen) and I had been taken to the Wheelwrights Arms in Pen-y-Cae by my sisters boyfriend & friends (It was handy having a much older sister). Now in those days as long as you sat quietly out the way, and made no trouble you tended to get away with drinking as long as no one pointed it out. Unfortunately this day one of the people I was with had recently annoyed the Barmaid (which is never a good idea people, for they supply the holy nectar of booze). So there I was minding my own business when she came over to our group, and informed me I had to finish my drink and leave as I was under-age. Now this was not a problem since I had prepared for this eventuality by calculating a date of birth that made me eighteen (Legal age then).
Me: “What you mean? I’m eighteen!”
Barmaid: “No your not! what’s your birthdate?”
Me: *gave valid birthdate*
Barmaid: “HA! your wrong, that makes you seventeen. You said your birthday was November, its only March so your not eighteen yet! try better next time”
Me: *sigh* “I know my birthdays not til November, at which time I will be nineteen.”
I then made her count up from the year I had given till she got to the current year to prove I was eighteen as i claimed.
Barmaid: “Oh. Sorry, I was sure that was a made up date of birth”
She then walked away. Now all would have been well if she had made it to the bar and got distracted by peoples orders. Only she never made it that far.
Barmaid: *one step* *two steps* *three steps* *pause* *turns angrily* “OI! your fifteen! get out of here now.”
Me: “Come on we’ve already done this”
Barmaid: “Wayne! Your my brothers best friend, your in his class in school, Hell you were at my house watching films with him last night, tell me your eighteen” *there then followed a stream of very interesting language*
And that’s how I first got kicked out of a drinking establishment, and learnt the important lesson that if you wish to drink while under the legal age then pick a pub where the staff do not know you.