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Latest News and Blog Posts from Wayne “Pendragon” Owens.
I do not think it means what you think it means.
So the press is reporting on “Frankenburger” The worlds first test-tube burger. And how it could revolutionise the food industry, bring an end to world famines (Although how many third world citizens can afford the $200,000 per burger cost I don’t know) and even be eatable by animal lovers. Others are saying that no one would want to eat a bit of flesh created in a lab, Personally my views are “If it looks like Bacon, and tastes like Bacon.. I’m eating it!“. But in all fairness I am a meat eater, and happily admit that I would be the first to eat the dead in an emergency (You have to eat them fast before they go off, so eat the dead first, then emergency rations which last longer)
Hang on, I went off topic there. Oh Animal Lovers.
Its the fact they are claiming Animal lovers will eat it, and that “so called” Animal Lovers interviewed on the news stated it would be better for animals. “Err really?” I think these “Animal lovers” must love animals as much as Vegetarians (Especially the preachy ones). Lets look at the facts.
Fact. Meat for food would be grown in a lab. So Farmers would not make money selling animals for food, so they would not pay for feeding them, or vets bills. Also since the farmer is now not making money they will need to use their land to grow crops or something. So what will happen to all those animals? killed? made extinct?
What use is a pig if you cant eat it? None dairy cattle? and so on. If we stop eating them, then they loose all value. Yes its not nice eating a poor animal, but we eat it after its had a nice lazy life. SO if the preachy Vegetarians had their way and we all stopped eating meat, think of the mass slaughter of animals that would take place. I’m telling you, vegetarians are anti-animals. They are pure evil!!!
+10 Geek Points for getting the Title reference.
People are Stupid.
Well technically I guess that should be “Customers are Stupid“. You do not believe me? Well here are two examples that happened this week.
Example 1:
I was being nice and answered the phone to help out the support guys, and the conversation went a bit like this :-
WO: “Good afternoon How may I help you?“
Customer: “Hi, Yes. I can’t send or receive any emails. its broke!“
WO: “OK. What error are you actually getting?“
Customer: “can not connect to server“
WO: “Ok, are you actually on the Internet?“
Customer: “YES. I am on the Internet doing things, the Internet is fine, it’s just my emails that is broken“
Customer: *noise of many people talking in background* ‘Yes. I’m on the phone to them now. Yes I have email issues. Ok I’ll pass them over to you when my mails sorted‘
WO: “You got other issues there?“
Customer: “Yes, they say we have lost the Internet. So Whats the issue with my emails?“
She honestly thought the fact they were not connected to the Internet had no connection with her problems in sending and receiving emails.
Example 2:
Now this was a ticket the Systems department had. A Customer had not been receiving any email conformation from their website for the last 3 months. And they knew from the orders that they should have had a fair few.
We had been looking into it on and off for a while since a grep of the site showed that it was not set up to actually send emails to the address they insisted received them.
So after many attempts I finally got them to check the header of an old email and give me the actual email address that the emails go to before being forwarded or downloaded to the end account.
So I have the real email address and decide to test it simply to start with. So I log into the account, and there sat in the INBOX are 50+ unread emails from the website.
Turns out they had forgotten to actually download the emails for the last few months.
Seriously, people get an IQ=IQ-100 as soon as they decide to contact our support department.
The Chair of DOOM!
CR: “Chair of DOOM?“
WO: “OK, maybe “Chair of DOOM!” is a bit of an over-exaggeration, but it does have a much better ring than “Chair of Nerves“. Oh, Now i think of it “Chair of Terror” would be a much better title.”
CR: “Then Why dont you change it?“
WO: “Couldn’t be buggered, So just had this imaginary conversation with you to explain how the title could be better!“
CR: “So you just wrote NINTY ONE words to save replacing ONE word in the Title?“
WO: “Yes…. Yes I did!“
Last night was my first meeting as master of a Freemasons Lodge, and we decided to start off with the biggest ceremony we could (A Third for those that know), Nothing like starting big to settle into our new roles easy. In fact a large number of people actually asked me last night “Why did you not start with an easier night? We’d never do a third in our first meeting” And I had no reasonable answer for them, Insanity is not really a reasonable answer or so I am told.
Now I am a naturally shy person (No matter what PlanetPete says) so I find it uncomfortable being the center of attention, so was uneasy in the run up to last night thinking about being in the spotlight, but as we were lining up to walk into the room I was surprised at just how nervous I was. I’m telling you “Chair of Terror” is a good name for it, I’m sure I’ll get used to it, probably just as soon as its my turn to step down and hand the care of it to my successor.
But even with the nerves, the most predominant thought in my head was “When are these guys going to realise I don’t have a clue what I’m doing!“. In my years as a member I’ve always assumed the Master knows what’s going on, has the answers, and so on. But me? I am sat there looking around at people asking me questions, wanting my opinion, all the while as the voices in my head scream “Why are you looking at me?” or “SHIT!!!! they are going to suss me out soon“. I have to say its a very odd feeling sitting there on the big chair.
I should end by saying it all worked out and it was a good night, and no one seemed to suspect I was clueless. So By Bingo I have survived for another time.
Do Geeks Dream of Virtual Sheep?
I had an interesting dream last night, one that may give an interesting peak into my subconscious, or possibly suggest I should be kept under observation for safety reasons. Personally I think it simply backs up that age old quote for the Bible “The Geek shall inherent the Earth“.
I should point out, the start of the dream could have been inspired by the fact I recently watched the whole 1st Season of “Game of Thrones“, And am working my way through the “Wheel of Time” series of Books.
So the dream started with me in a typical fantasy world, of Swords, Knights, horses, normal Medieval technology level. I was in a small land that was being attacked by a bigger neighbor, I have no idea why, the politics of the conflict did not interest me, as much as offering my services as an “adviser”, which helped turn the tide and allow the smaller land to win.
On a side note, its amazing the weapons and traps you can make with just basic technology and modern knowledge. Also charging cavalry get really confused when they come across my medieval version of landmines. Hey it was some fantasy world, there probably wasn’t even a Geneva let alone a Geneva Convention.
Well on the high from our small victory, we went on the offensive to claim damages from the aggressors and increase the size of the country. Alas that’s when bad fortune hit our plucky country, our beloved King died while examining my rudimentary gunpowder grenades. Luckily I had just left the room moments before the accident which also had the misfortune to take out the direct line of airs to the throne. Since we were at war, and needed strong leadership to keep us safe I volunteered my own services as military leader while the lords of the land worked out who should become the new king.
Now I think on it, they never did come up with who should rule the country. I guess they were too busy on the front lines as part of the forced military conscription that we needed to help fight the wars on all fronts. By the time I woke up I had unified three quarters of the land, and given an extra half hour of sleep I’m sure my steam cannons would have made short work of the mountain fortresses of the free people.
I think this dream shows two points.
- Knowledge is Power
- I should not be allowed to rule any country, no matter how small.
The Year That Was – 2011
Its that time of year again.
Where I look back over the previous year and answer the same 40 questions.
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
OK, New things :-
- Stayed in the room during an Installation.
- Became an Installed Master.
- Took part in the 100 day challenge.
- Chaired a committee meeting.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No! I do not even remember what they were. I have discovered that I am basically Crap at keeping resolutions, but am a lot better at sticking to challenges. So for next year I am thinking of doing a set of challenges for the year, a friend suggested 12 or 52 for the months/weeks of the year. I just need to think of some things I would like to achieve next year and sort out the challenge.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I was going to answer Yes, PlanetPete to this question. Then I realised he only gave birth by proxie. So instead I shall adjust my answer slightly to be, Yes, Mrs PlanetPete AKA H, gave birth to the mini magoo foretold in legend, Henry (And yes, he does have a cat).
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Luckily No.
5. What countries did you visit?
None really, apart from the normal Wales/England.
But I did spend some time with some Americans which should count as something.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Enthusiasm, Love, Joy of Work, A warm office, A published book.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- 3rd November – When I got to meet Bingo, and was placed in the Chair of King Solomon by my Father.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Attaining the Chair of Solomon (Are we noticing a trend yet?).
9. What was your biggest failure?
Only getting one of the items off the list from last years answer to question 6.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope, Apart from the recovering from Vampire Eye which I got Dec 24th of 2010, and was dealt with at the beginning of 2011. But actual injury/Illness gotten in 2011, there is nothing.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A Tablet device, Great toy. Or my Galaxy S2 phone, which is much more superior to my old iPhone, or SkyRim as I am currently an addict.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
- My IPM for standing down part of the night to allow my father to put me into the chair (That trend again).
- H for H.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
- Those who made picking officers awkward.
- Work people who left to secretly set up a company in competition.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Diesel for commuting, and fix’s for my Video Game Addiction.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going into the Chair of Solomon, Skyrim, and because I’m a sad geek William Fucking Shatner friending me on G+, and Robert Lomas following me on Twitter.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
“G33k & G4m3r Girls” By Team Unicorn.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- a) happier or sadder? Happier, Because I have plans afoot.
- b) thinner or fatter? Possibly fatter due to all the visiting as Master, and the multi-course meals.
- c) richer or poorer? Poorer, Rising fuel prices, Global economic collapse, etc.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Falling in Love, Writing, Following my Dreams, Conquering the World, Finding a cure for the common cold and blackmailing people for the cure.
You know, the simple pleasures in life.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? .
Wasting time, and suffering from lack of enthusiasm.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas day will be spent with the family, My Parents like their children, grandchildren all together at Christmas. SO meal with them, then few drinks and Gameplay with my nephews, then more drinks and a movie.
21. What was your favourite month of 2011?
Lets keep the trend going, November because I entered the Chair of Solomon.
22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Alas No. I am high functioning Sociopath.
23. How many one-night stands?
One night stands? None (I’m a gentleman! And a gentleman never sleeps & tells).
24. What was your favourite TV programme?
I’ll go for best New Show “Breaking In”, since there are way to many old favourites to mention. And in the words of Oz “I’ll allow it!”.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate leads to suffering. which leads to the Dark side. So Hate is a strong word, and one that should not be thrown about casually, not haphazardly.
But the short answer is YES.
26. What was the best book you read?
I am going to go for a Trilogy instead of a single book, since i read all three back to back, as one long story. This is also the last three fiction books I have read, but I am going for Brent Weeks The Night-Angle Trilogy
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Team Unicorn. Even if they do only have one song out ATM.
28. What did you want and get?
A Tablet. The Secrets of an Installed Master.
29. What did you want and not get?
World Domination, True Love, Slaves.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
- Thor.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went to rehearsals on my actual birthday, then two days later (Or one depending when I was actually born) I was placed into the Chair of Solomon, then celebrated with friends drinking and enjoying a three course meal, and more drinks. I also had a joint birthday celebration in the wilds of Wales with some old Spod Friends.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A better Job, A long lasting Relationship, More enthusiasm, less TFB.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Same as always, semi-scruffy day wear (work) Smart casual otherwise.
Oh and suits, because suits are awesome…… True story
34. What kept you sane?
Me Sane? Interesting theory you have there. Well I still have the magic stone from last year that I purchased off a traveling merchant that keeps away tigers & insanity. On a serious note, Friends bother the Real Life variety and the Net (Twitter/G+/Facebook) varieties.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Same as last year. “Felica Day. Well she’s attractive, Intelligent (Has a mathematics degree), Talented (She’s a singer, Actress, Writer, Director), She’s a Gamer/geek and grew up with a subscription to 2600 magazine. What is not to like, she’s my ideal woman.”.
Also Michelle Boyd from Team Unicorn.
Felica Day.
Michelle Boyd.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
None, I don’t do politics.
37. Who did you miss?
Old friends.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Several New friends on Twitter. Who are all special in their own ways.
And so I don’t get “another” entry on the list Henry.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011?.
Oderint, Dum Metuant.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I’m a Mason now by Jonathan Coultron.
Should we talk about the governments that I control?
Should we talk about the hands of fate, the dice they roll?
The secret things you’ll never see?
The secret man you’ll never be?
Sorry Kids, Christmas is Cancelled
I am sorry I have to break this sad news to you Dear Constant Readers, but alas due to some bad judgement on the behalf of the jolly fat man, Christmas this year is cancelled.
You see, as I was driving home from work the other night, in the dark, on icy roads Santa’s sleigh pulled out of a junction directly in front of me. It was only my superior driving skills that prevented a head on collision. I should interject here that Santa’s ride has gone down a bit since I was a kid, he’s replaced all the reindeer with a landrover (Which as a founding member of the reindeer liberation front, I fully support) and well the sleigh is looking rough, like someone just nailed a few bits of MDF onto a trailer and stapled a few Christmas tree lights to it!
Anyway, He almost caused me to crash, and the UK laws of road rage state I MUST hunt him down and stab him. Now, Give him his due’s he is a wily old fox is Santa. He seems to have hired a load of body doubles (I wonder if he got the idea from Sadam) It just means I have more work to do, on a side note I am running out of places to bury the bodies…
Merry Cancelled Christmas.
11:11:11 11-11-11
Today is a special day in the geeky calendar.
Happy Binary Day.
Its the 11th second of the 11th minute of the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month of the 11th year of this century.
Just thought I’d mention this milestone because it’s special people.. Special!.
Sitting in the Chair of King Solomon
This evening I was Installed into the Chair of King Solomon.
I am now the Worshipful Master of Llannerch Lodge No 9056.
It was a very, very, very, very enjoyable night. The ceremony was eye opening, and there was a feast at the mid ceremony break. In fact there was so much scones, bara brith’s, and biscuits left over that my work lunches are covered for the next month or two. Then the Festive board was great and all about me! It is a good job I have no ego, or it could go to my head.
My father was given the honour to go back into the chair to put me in the chair himself, which I thought was very nice of my now IPM. Everyone had a great time, and the drinking at the bar afterwards went on for hours. It was great seeing so many visitors attend from the Provinces of North Wales, and Cheshire for my special night.
I will admit, that I have no clue what I am doing as the Master, but it is something that will remain in my memory for decades to come.
This world is so hard and so stony,
That if a man is to get through,
He need have the courage of Nelson,
And plenty of Job’s patience too.
But a man who is kind to another
And cheerfully helps him along,
We’ll claim as a man and a brother,
And here’s to his health in a song.
Assassins Creed Brotherhood – Attack of the Glitch
As mentioned in This Post We finally got Assassins Creed Brotherhood (Or ACB as it will be known for the rest of this post) working fine for us to play together, and we have had a few good games. Now there has always been the odd glitch, people doing the lag jump, or cries of “How did you get me, you were no where near?” And other slight but manageable glitches.
Only recently these glitches have got worse. Especially as we have noticed with PlanetPete. We think it affects him more because he has the Da Vinci DLC so has more characters, so when he plays his machine is kicking out more character types?
These glitches were expectational bad the last time we played. And I really hope they get these issues fixed for the final release in the Assassins Creed series. Let me give you a few examples.
You would see PlanetPete running and lock on with your hidden gun, you would get a clear shot locked directly onto his back, fire, and nothing.
You would be unable to lock on to press X (Kill) or B (stun)
If you did lock on, you would still be unable most the time to attack. At two points there was two of us trying to kill him while he was blinded by firecrackers and not moving, and neither of us could touch him.
The list of things like that is endless, to the point we wondered if he had some cheat on. That’s when we realised what he was seeing on his screen was different to us. So where we were all seeing his character, was no longer where he was standing, hence we could not kill him.
I love the AC games, but they really need to sort out their multiplayer for the next one. And not having to wait fifteen minutes to find/start a game would also be nice.
Hurricane Katia 0: Ninja Temple 1
The start of this week saw parts of Wales hit with edges of Hurricane Katia, there was flooding, damage, cats and dogs raining from the sky, the four horsemen of the apocalypse started to saddle thier horses up ready to fly only to have to stand down after health and safety said it was unsafe to ride horses during an apocalypse.*
Luckily With the Ninjas Temple being on high ground, and no where near the coast we survived the worst of the damage & flooding.
Unluckily a rather large, old tree did fall from the excessive winds and smash into the roof of the Ninja Temple. It was impressive, half the building was hidden under the branches of a mighty old tree.
Luckily the temple was built over specification, and the roof is lined with rather thick strong concrete tiles which were able to hold the weight of the tree without doing any obvious damage.
Unluckily it did wipe out the TV aerial. AND during the Rugby World Cup 🙁
Luckily I have a degree in electrical & electronic engineering, with a load of side qualifications in the field. So that particular issue was soon rectified.
So all in all the spiritual power of the Ninja Temple shrugged off the damage dished out by Katia. We are now ready for round 2.
*Some of these actions may not have happened outside of my mind.