As tradition demands, it’s time for the annual reminder of the official survival rules, because nothing says “I value my life” like refusing to behave like a horror‑movie extra.

So, for those wishing to make it safely to Saturday the 14th, please observe the following:

• ❌ Don’t go swimming. Lakes, rivers, ponds… if it’s wet, avoid it.
• ❌ Don’t have sex. Horror‑movie law. I don’t make the rules.
• ❌ Don’t smoke. The killer can smell irresponsibility.
• ❌ Don’t drink. Yes, I know, tragic!!.
• ❌ Don’t go out. The outside world is where the plot happens.
• ❌ Don’t split up. Ever. Even to “just check something.”
• ❌ Don’t run from the killer. They have Olympic‑level cardio.
• ❌ If you trip, get up immediately. Don’t lie there screaming like a Victorian fainting goat.

And above all, for the love of God… TURN ON THE LIGHT before entering any room. Darkness is where the soundtrack gets ominous.

Follow these simple guidelines and you might just survive the day without being chased by a masked man with questionable hobbies.

Stay safe, stay sensible, and for the love of all that is holy… don’t investigate strange noises.

Ladies, gentlemen, and those still scraping ice off their cars… it is with great reluctance, and absolutely no surprise, that I must announce that Punxsutawney Phil has betrayed us once again.

Yes. On this sacred Groundhog Day, the furry little meteorological menace emerged from his burrow, took one look around, and declared six more weeks of winter. Six. More. Weeks. As if we haven’t suffered enough.

For those unfamiliar with the ancient lore: Groundhog Day began in the 1800s when people, apparently bored and cold, decided to entrust seasonal forecasting to a rodent. A rodent. Not a druid. Not a wise elder. Not even a slightly drunk farmer with a cloud‑watching hobby. No! a bloody groundhog.

And ever since, this whiskered weather‑wizard has held the Northern Hemisphere hostage with his shadow‑based tyranny.

Well, not this year.

I, do hereby declare WAR on all groundhogs. Phil, his cousins, his agents, his furry little intelligence network, all of them. If winter must continue, then so must the resistance.

• Let it be known: We will not go quietly into another frostbitten morning.
• We will not accept another icy windscreen without complaint.
• We will not bow to the whims of a glorified woodland potato.

Rise up, friends.
Sharpen your snow shovels.
Prepare your thermal socks.

The Great Groundhog Rebellion of 2026 has begun.

Down with Phil. Up with spring.

At some point over the weekend, or Monday somebody decided to try and annoy us.

I am guessing this “Prankster” must have had a spam phone call, and decided to google the number, finding the company name of where I work. We are a Telecommunications provider and sell phone lines and numbers. Apparently people do not understand that the company that sold the number is not the one who made the phone call. I guess people are dumb!

Well, this annoyed person decided that if they got a spam call, then we could have one as well. They then spent what must have been hours filling in every “call back” form they could find online, asking for a phone call about health and safety training, lead acquisition, training, hiring work experience people, etc. Using our Phone number and email address.

Which means we have had dozens of calendar requests, and people phoning us back to discuss what we require. They are getting very apologetic when we explain its a false request.

I do not think it has worked out like the “Prankster” wanted, all they have done is upset all the people calling, and us? We do not care, it beats working. Also, since all the online forms which were emailed to us contained the “Pranksters” IP address, then they must be expecting this to escalate into a “Prank War!”

And if there is one thing you never want to do, is to start a Prank War with a bunch of SysAdmin.

Google messaged me with a search term update, since this site has had some new popular search terms that have brought people here.

Now the first two are basically the same thing “Kuji in pdf” which makes sense to me since this PDF has been downloaded over 900 times this month alone. So I can see that it may be a popular search term, although who knew so many people are interested in Kuji-In.

But the one that is really confusing me is “necrophilia game”.

I am not sure which I find more confusing, or worrying. The fact people are finding this site from that search term, or the fact that so many people are googling that term that it counts as a “growing term”.

P.S. For those curious, I searched this site myself for necrophilia (yes, I will book myself in with a therapist later) and it turns out there is a post from 2009 called “Fable-2 – Bigamy, Blackmail, & Necrophilia” so at least one mystery has been solved, now I just need to know what modern trend is calling on so many people to google “necrophilia game”?

I would like to wish all my English friends a very Happy St George’s day.

BUT GUYS!!! He killed a dragon?

And animal cruelty is just not fun! especially when its to an awesome animal.

PS. If you tell me He’s ok because dragons are mythical creatures are not real, then I shall just point out that you are celebrating the day of a man who killed something that doesn’t exist, so he is either a liar or on drugs….  Or he too does not exist….

Check Mate!

This evening I watched an old British film. “The man who never was” the 1956 film all about Operation Mincemeat.

Operation Mincemeat was a highly successful Allied deception during World War II, aimed at misleading the Germans about the true target of the Allied invasion of Sicily. The operation involved creating a false identity for a deceased vagrant, dressing him in a Royal Marine uniform, and planting his body in the sea off the coast of Spain. The Germans, believing the body was a real Royal Marine officer carrying secret documents, fell for the deception, believing the Allies intended to invade Greece instead of Sicily.

The film was very enjoyable and I would recommend it to anyone. The details that went into Operation Mincemeat is amazing, and really shows the ingenuity of the human mind. Also. Do not trust anything!

So there I was watching the film, and it get’s to the part when the body washes up on Spanish coast. Eventually it showed the body being collected, and moved, and eventually buried. It was at the part where the Priest was conducting the funeral that I remembered the film had subtitles, so I turned them on, rewound and started watching the foreign parts with Subtitles on.

Priest is doing the ceremony and the subtitles are :-

[LATIN]

Well, it was the 60s and maybe they wanted to keep the religious stuff to a minimum. After all to write the subtitles for the prayors may have been a bit much.

So we see some Spanish people talking about the body, and the subtitles are :-

[SPANISH SPEAKING]

OK. That was pointless. An officer starts shouting at the people talking, and the subtitles are :-

[SPANISH OFFICER SHOUTING IN SPANISH]

Is there anything more 60s British than just subtitling “Johnny Foreigner” with just the name of the language being spoken?

In the beginning the Lord God Almighty turned to the Archangel Gabriel, and said:

“Today I am going to create a beautiful part of the Earth and I will call it Wales. I will make a country of breathtaking blue lakes, rich green forests and dark beautiful mountains from which from time to
time will be snow-covered. I will give it clear, swift rivers that will overflow with salmon and trout.

The land shall be lush and fertile on which the people can raise cattle and grow their food, as well as being rich with precious metals and stones that will be sought after, the World over.

Underneath the land I shall lay rich seams of coal for the inhabitants to mine. Around the coast I will make some of the most beautiful areas in the World. White sandy beaches and cliffs that will attract all manner of wildlife, and lots of islands that will be paradise to all who visit them. In the waters around the shores there will be abundance of sea-life.

The people who will live there will be called the Welsh, and they will be the friendliest people on my Earth. They will have magic in their blood, and songs in their souls. Their Voices when raised in song shall challenge the choir of angels.”

“Excuse me, sire” interrupted the Archangel Gabriel, “don’t you think that you are being a bit generous to these Welsh?”

The lord just smiled and replied “You have not seen the neighbours I’m giving them!”

So as of today “1st December 2015” every Adult in Wales who has not actively gone HERE and stated that they want to keep all their bits when they die will be considered fair game for harvesting.

Or to put it in their words

After the 1st December 2015 if you have not recorded an organ donation decision (opt in or opt out) on the NHS Organ Donation Register, you will be treated as having no objection to donating any of your organs. This is called “deemed consent”.

You are probably thinking that is a good idea, and it will help reduce the size of the list of people waiting on transplants, and even save lives. After all there is a big shortage of organs for transplants in Wales and the UK. In 2012-13, 36 people died in Wales while waiting for a transplant

So this is a good thing right?

Let me leave you with this thought. If you were waiting for a transplant, and you could die without it, and you knew that every person in Wales was now an all you can transplant buffet, would you be willing to wait in the hope someone may die of natural causes in time to save you, or would you plan mass-murder in Wales to get the part you need?

I know what I would do, and NO I am not going to tell you what my decision is.

P.S. On A Side note, you know there are many ways to kill large numbers of people without damaging their internal organs?