There should be a form of Caffeine-Breathalyser fitted to all computers that prevent incoming emails unless the operator has a sufficient amount of caffeine in their system to cope with lUsers.

For my example I shall use my morning.

9am: Get into office, log into everything, say good morning to fellow staff, people on the internet, go grab a coffee. (1st work coffee off day)

9:45: Check emails (Caffeine levels too low) Receive email from “FFS”. Email basically states with lots of SHOUTY emphasis that I have not set up a live & development server correctly, and have set both to be same machine, with no access to development one, The email then goes on to list the server specs at me.

Now. This is where the caffeine lockout should have been enforced. Unfortunately, due to this IMPORTANT piece of IT hardware not yet being invented, there was nothing preventing me replying to the email, and CC’ing the MD of FFS in as well for good measure. Basically pointing out the ineptitude of the developer emailing me, and the fact he has no clue as to what he is doing, did not bother checking, or doing anything before disturbing me in an aggressive manner. It was a work of pre-caffeine level Rant-Art.

10:16: MD of FFS emails a groveling apology.

Please, will someone invent the “Caffeinalizer cutout”!