I have recently reconnected with some old friends on various Social Networking sites, and we have been catching up and reminding each other of various stories and escapades from the past. I will probably post a few of the more “safe” stories on here at some point. Until then, and to counter the last post of mine which was political, here is a series of quotes that were recorded at the 1997 Birmingham Spod meet (See I told you I would Post them! I just needed to find the bit of paper).
Basically someone said something that sounded “dodgy” so a pen & paper was found and people started making a list of all the innocent things said that could be taken out of context and sound “iffy”. There was a running count being kept of who was winning.
BEBOP (to BARNEY) : It’s not my fault the clingfilm broke.
BEBOP (to BARNEY) : You loved it, you came back for more.
MADRORY (to FRESH) : So, are you giving me one then?
AD and MRBLACK : We’re only playing.
MADRORY : I am left handed, so I am crap at doing it with my right hand!
LUCIFER : Biscuit is most defiantly a woman – I checked 12 times!
BEBOP (with VEC) : We’re just going to get money.
MADRORY : It ends up really huge.
: It takes about 3 hours.
FRESH : We want the whole lot.
MADRORY : It was because of a fluffy, vicious, bouncy, potentially lethal goth doing it to me.
MADRORY : I’ve started so I’ll finish.
MORGYN : Look, there’s a dangly bit there!
MORGYN : How large do you reckon you could get this one?
MORGYN : I mean how large do you think this hair will get?
FRESH : I think you’ll find that 3 times in a row.
MADRORY : It’s difficult to do it at the back.
FRESH : He’ll have the black bruises to go with it.
MADRORY : Oh no, my hair’s sticking to it now.
MORGYN (talking about PENDRAGON) : Well you could always pin him down and do it to him.
MRBLACK : Say when!
MORGYN : That’ll fit quite nicely.
LUCIFER : _THAT_ is no muscle whatsoever… except for the necessary bits.
MRBLACK : We’ve been in the pub for 9 hours.
AD : Arse!
MRBLACK : Hurrah…
FRESH : Can’t you do it with an afro comb?
FRESH : And I was doing so well.
MORGYN : Nothing compares to a penguin.
MORGYN : Is Madrory still beating me?
MORGYN (talking about SIAN) : The person we picked up off the street said “aah”
FRESH : Do you like it tight?
MADRORY : Yes, it stays in better that way
FRESH : We’ll do it when we get back.
MORGYN : Damn! I’m being beaten.
MADRORY : I might be able to get up by that time.
MADRORY : Let’s go inside. It’s warmer in there.
MORGYN : Can’t you get it up without a vicar or priest there?
FLIBS : I’m the son of one, will I do?
FRESH : That goes down with the rest of them.
FRESH : I’ve never ever done that.
SIAN : I’m practising to be one.
FRESH : Do it by hand.
FRESH : I think you ought to ask my girlfriend about that.
MADRORY : Stuart, stop fiddling with it.
SIAN (to MORGYN) : That is not as impressive compared to Madrory’s
MORGYN : It’s just the way I’m sitting.
FLIBS : I don’t care as long as it’s solid.
MORGYN : It’s amazing how large it can get so quickly.
SIAN : Does it do it again?
MADRORY : I’m prepared for all eventualities.
MORGYN : You can tell by his woggle!
MORGYN : It only took 3 hours.
BIGPHIL : He’s staying on my bedroom floor.
MADRORY : That goes down I’m afraid.
AD : It’s too floppy.
MRBLACK : Yes, i need to get hold of something hard.
JONAH : You’ve just thrown your thingy at me.
MORGYN : It’s the person you’re lying on’s responsibility.
BIGPHIL : How long is it now?
LUCIFER : Almost 5 pages.
LINDA : It’s sticky isn’t it?
FRESH : He said he was coming.
MADRORY : We were getting worried that you wouldn’t come.
PHOENIX : You keep trying but you haven’t managed it yet.
MADRORY : Right Fresh, come here … UP … NOW!
PHOENIX : Where’s the rest of it gone? Can we have it now?
MRBLACK : Are you fingering my bottle?
LINDA : Hold that a minute.
FRESH : If you weren’t admin, I’d give you a right good slap.
FRESH : What position are you in, rougthly?
-=> NicePerson sitting down with people standing around her.
BIGPHIL : Oh look, She’s just the right height now.
MRBLACK : He has now. He’s used it enough … OH BOLLOCKS!
MRBLACK : What are you sucking up there?
MORGYN : Don’t grab that, it’ll go everywhere.
MADRORY : And what are you up to?
AD : I’m making it move around in the glass.
MORGYN : I don’t like being tied down unless on special occasions
MADRORY : It’s fascinating isn’t it? Watching all the white stuff pour into the bottle.
FRESH : Aww it’s wet, EWW!
MRBLACK : Ad caught in the act!
MORGYN : Get off me! You didn’t say that last night.
FLIBS : I stroke mine regularly.
BIGPHIL : You can go back to my place and dump your stuff.
LUCIFER : Aarrgghh, Don’t sit on my hand.
BIGPHIL : It’s a good method for foreplay.
PHOENIX : Oh no, he sat on the spike
MRBLACK : I’ll have some.
JONAH : Anything in it?
LUCIFER : He wants to get a shot of that before they clean it up.
PHOENIX : He’s obviously not going hard enough.
PHOENIX : Don’t make me hurt you Greg.
-=> …(Extended wrestling)…(Greg hurled from room)…
GREG : BITCH!
GREG : 4 of you eh?
JONAH : So, nobody wants any cucumber?
BIGPHIL : You can go in another room and do it, I don’t care.
LUCIFER : Then it goes down nice and syrupy.
MRBLACK : It just doesn’t dry up.
GREG : How big is it then Phil?
LUCIFER : I’m going to wash my hands cos they’re all sticky.
PHOENIX : Yes, well we won’t go into that.
GREG : Stop penetrating my soul.
PHOENIX : I haven’t touched your shoes.
PHOENIX : Better to take then one at a time, I reckon.
PHOENIX : It’s the sweat that does it.
BIGPHIL : You really took pleasure in that didn’t you son?
BIGPHIL : You might get a groan out of him and then he’ll go to sleep.
LUCIFER : Imagine getting that out your arse.
MRBLACK : One at a time please.
PHOENIX : Isn’t that an interesting crease?
PHOENIX : Oh damn – just 3 inches too short.
PHOENIX : Bah! But I would have triumphed if it wasn’t for you pesky kids!