Wayne was born at a very early age and has not died yet, which is something he considers to be a bit of an achievement.

He joined Freemasonry in 2006, went into the chair for the first time in 2011, and started giving talks across several Provinces in early 2017, before joining NWAMS as a speaker in 2021.

He Is an accidentally established Masonic author and has had articles published in several Masonic and non-Masonic periodicals.

by Wayne Pendragon Owens

I am an Author, Freemason, Rosicrucian, Blood Biker, Widows Son, CodeNinja, Spod, Hacker, Son, Uncle, Brother, Man, AN INDIVIDUAL!

28th April 2010

Nothing compares to a Penguin.

I have recently reconnected with some old friends on various Social Networking sites, and we have been catching up and reminding each other of various stories and escapades from the past. I will probably post a few of the more “safe” stories on here at some point.  Until then, and to counter the last post of mine which was political, here is a series of quotes that were recorded at the 1997 Birmingham Spod meet (See I told you I would Post them! I just needed to find the bit of paper).

Basically someone said something that sounded “dodgy” so a pen & paper was found and people started making a list of all the innocent things said that could be taken out of context and sound “iffy”. There was a running count being kept of who was winning.

BEBOP (to BARNEY) : It’s not my fault the clingfilm broke.

BEBOP (to BARNEY) : You loved it, you came back for more.

MADRORY (to FRESH) : So, are you giving me one then?

AD and MRBLACK : We’re only playing.

MADRORY : I am left handed, so I am crap at doing it with my right hand!

LUCIFER : Biscuit is most defiantly a woman – I checked 12 times!

BEBOP (with VEC) : We’re just going to get money.

MADRORY : It ends up really huge.

: It takes about 3 hours.

FRESH : We want the whole lot.

MADRORY : It was because of a fluffy, vicious, bouncy, potentially lethal goth doing it to me.

MADRORY : I’ve started so I’ll finish.

MORGYN : Look, there’s a dangly bit there!

MORGYN : How large do you reckon you could get this one?

MORGYN : I mean how large do you think this hair will get?

FRESH : I think you’ll find that 3 times in a row.

MADRORY : It’s difficult to do it at the back.

FRESH : He’ll have the black bruises to go with it.

MADRORY : Oh no, my hair’s sticking to it now.

MORGYN (talking about PENDRAGON) : Well you could always pin him down and do it to him.

MRBLACK : Say when!

MORGYN : That’ll fit quite nicely.

LUCIFER : _THAT_ is no muscle whatsoever… except for the necessary bits.

MRBLACK : We’ve been in the pub for 9 hours.

AD : Arse!

MRBLACK : Hurrah…

FRESH : Can’t you do it with an afro comb?

FRESH : And I was doing so well.

MORGYN : Nothing compares to a penguin.

MORGYN : Is Madrory still beating me?

MORGYN (talking about SIAN) : The person we picked up off the street said “aah”

FRESH : Do you like it tight?

MADRORY : Yes, it stays in better that way

FRESH : We’ll do it when we get back.

MORGYN : Damn! I’m being beaten.

MADRORY : I might be able to get up by that time.

MADRORY : Let’s go inside. It’s warmer in there.

MORGYN : Can’t you get it up without a vicar or priest there?

FLIBS : I’m the son of one, will I do?

FRESH : That goes down with the rest of them.

FRESH : I’ve never ever done that.

SIAN : I’m practising to be one.

FRESH : Do it by hand.

FRESH : I think you ought to ask my girlfriend about that.

MADRORY : Stuart, stop fiddling with it.

SIAN (to MORGYN) : That is not as impressive compared to Madrory’s

MORGYN : It’s just the way I’m sitting.

FLIBS : I don’t care as long as it’s solid.

MORGYN : It’s amazing how large it can get so quickly.

SIAN : Does it do it again?

MADRORY : I’m prepared for all eventualities.

MORGYN : You can tell by his woggle!

MORGYN : It only took 3 hours.

BIGPHIL : He’s staying on my bedroom floor.

MADRORY : That goes down I’m afraid.

AD : It’s too floppy.

MRBLACK : Yes, i need to get hold of something hard.

JONAH : You’ve just thrown your thingy at me.

MORGYN : It’s the person you’re lying on’s responsibility.

BIGPHIL : How long is it now?

LUCIFER : Almost 5 pages.

LINDA : It’s sticky isn’t it?

FRESH : He said he was coming.

MADRORY : We were getting worried that you wouldn’t come.

PHOENIX : You keep trying but you haven’t managed it yet.

MADRORY : Right Fresh, come here … UP … NOW!

PHOENIX : Where’s the rest of it gone? Can we have it now?

MRBLACK : Are you fingering my bottle?

LINDA : Hold that a minute.

FRESH : If you weren’t admin, I’d give you a right good slap.

FRESH : What position are you in, rougthly?

-=> NicePerson sitting down with people standing around her.

BIGPHIL : Oh look, She’s just the right height now.

MRBLACK : He has now. He’s used it enough … OH BOLLOCKS!

MRBLACK : What are you sucking up there?

MORGYN : Don’t grab that, it’ll go everywhere.

MADRORY : And what are you up to?

AD : I’m making it move around in the glass.

MORGYN : I don’t like being tied down unless on special occasions

MADRORY : It’s fascinating isn’t it? Watching all the white stuff pour into the bottle.

FRESH : Aww it’s wet, EWW!

MRBLACK : Ad caught in the act!

MORGYN : Get off me! You didn’t say that last night.

FLIBS : I stroke mine regularly.

BIGPHIL : You can go back to my place and dump your stuff.

LUCIFER : Aarrgghh, Don’t sit on my hand.

BIGPHIL : It’s a good method for foreplay.

PHOENIX : Oh no, he sat on the spike

MRBLACK : I’ll have some.

JONAH : Anything in it?

LUCIFER : He wants to get a shot of that before they clean it up.

PHOENIX : He’s obviously not going hard enough.

PHOENIX : Don’t make me hurt you Greg.

-=> …(Extended wrestling)…(Greg hurled from room)…

GREG : BITCH!

GREG : 4 of you eh?

JONAH : So, nobody wants any cucumber?

BIGPHIL : You can go in another room and do it, I don’t care.

LUCIFER : Then it goes down nice and syrupy.

MRBLACK : It just doesn’t dry up.

GREG : How big is it then Phil?

LUCIFER : I’m going to wash my hands cos they’re all sticky.

PHOENIX : Yes, well we won’t go into that.

GREG : Stop penetrating my soul.

PHOENIX : I haven’t touched your shoes.

PHOENIX : Better to take then one at a time, I reckon.

PHOENIX : It’s the sweat that does it.

BIGPHIL : You really took pleasure in that didn’t you son?

BIGPHIL : You might get a groan out of him and then he’ll go to sleep.

LUCIFER : Imagine getting that out your arse.

MRBLACK : One at a time please.

PHOENIX : Isn’t that an interesting crease?

PHOENIX : Oh damn – just 3 inches too short.

PHOENIX : Bah! But I would have triumphed if it wasn’t for you pesky kids!

–==>> That’s all Folks!! <<==–

–==>> No Sat quotes – sheet stolen… <<==–

–==>> Shame, as all the PENDRAGON Quotes were on that sheet ;0) <<==–