Wayne was born at a very early age and has not died yet, which is something he considers to be a bit of an achievement.

He joined Freemasonry in 2006, went into the chair for the first time in 2011, and started giving talks across several Provinces in early 2017, before joining NWAMS as a speaker in 2021.

He Is an accidentally established Masonic author and has had articles published in several Masonic and non-Masonic periodicals.

by Wayne Pendragon Owens

I am an Author, Freemason, Rosicrucian, Blood Biker, Widows Son, CodeNinja, Spod, Hacker, Son, Uncle, Brother, Man, AN INDIVIDUAL!

28th September 2009

Medical Misadventures

I am suffering from the medical condition “Vampire Eyes” again. “What is Vampire Eye?“ you ask, Well you should read some of the earlier blog posts where its mentioned in detail.  OK! I’m nice, I’ll  give a quick re-cap for the newer readers.

VAMPIRE EYES:

A weird eye infection that causes the eye infected to glow red, be extremely sensitive to sunlight, spend all day trying to close, and all night trying to open.

That’s probably not the correct medical term, Its just the one I am using until someone can give me the correct term.  And No one has yet identified the illness. So there I am next best thing to blind and not liking it at all, so I play the lottery of seeing a doctor.  You see, to get an appointment with my doctor you must phone up in a very short window of time the morning you would like the appointment.  Now there is only one phone number, one person answering, for an area covering six or more villages (One being the largest village in Wales). So the phone line is constantly engaged.  Today I was lucky. I got me an appointment at 9:30 with a new doctor.

So at 9:15 I pull into the car park of the doctors place only to find it full, as is the library car park next to it, a quick zoom around all the neighbouring car parks left me abandoning my car on the side of the road. (Err YES! the brighter of you lot may have just asked out loud, “You Drove? You said you was blind!” its a skill driving purely by using the power of the force!)  Anyway, I make it into the Doctors Surgery for 9:25 and state my name, appointment time and details to the receptionist who proceeds to give me a number attached to a big coloured bit of plastic. “A Number? I have an appointment at a set time, i had to fight using multiple phone lines to get it, and I am reduced to a number, just like in the pre-appointment times!” So I sit down with my number (5) a quick check at current number (2) means I have a bit of a wait…

*BUZZ* *BUZZ* The light next to my Doctors name is flashing, its not my turn as I am several numbers down the list.  Now some old lady with a lower number than me looks at the other old dear next to her and goes “That’s you dear, your the next number!” for the other woman to reply “No, I’m a different doctor” They then get into a small argument over what doctor they are seeing as they both have the same coloured bit of plastic (each doctor having a different colour). This argument them covers the whole room as its discovered everyone in the waiting room has the same coloured bits of plastic yet are waiting on four different doctors.  After a bit more arguing and more buzzing from the doctor the least able bodied person in the room stumbles her way to the receptionist on her two walking sticks.  It turns out the receptionist was having an insane morning and gave everyone the same colour. So we are all given the correct colour, and I see an opportunity as I now have a card for the most popular doctor with a number lower than most the people waiting to see him. So I try to sell my lower number, Alas I failed to get any bids and the card was taken off my be a nurse.

On another bonus, my new doctor is a rather attractive young lady so i may need to fabricate a few more illnesses.

It made for an entertaining morning.