Wayne was born at a very early age and has not died yet, which is something he considers to be a bit of an achievement.

He joined Freemasonry in 2006, went into the chair for the first time in 2011, and started giving talks across several Provinces in early 2017, before joining NWAMS as a speaker in 2021.

He Is an accidentally established Masonic author and has had articles published in several Masonic and non-Masonic periodicals.

by Wayne Pendragon Owens

I am an Author, Freemason, Rosicrucian, Blood Biker, Widows Son, CodeNinja, Spod, Hacker, Son, Uncle, Brother, Man, AN INDIVIDUAL!

24th September 2010

Doctors 2.1

My case of “Vampire Eye” was not getting any better, in fact it seemed to be getting actually worse, so yesterday I decided to get myself a check-up appointment at the Doctors. I was in luck and managed to get myself a 9am appointment.  So not long to wait to get some answers…..right?

9:00 AM Doctor 1:

I’m sat patiently in the waiting room, and by patiently I mean board out of my mind and playing “angry birds” to waste the time. You have to love appointment times, I had a fixed time 9am, I was the first appointment of day, and I still had to wait about twenty minutes before getting seen.

I get in to see the Doc, (Not The Doc, which is a shame cos that would have been really cool), anyway I walk in and sit down. My Doctor looks at me

Doc: “err so the drops I gave you are not helping?

WO: “No, and my eyes been getting worse the last three days?

Doc: “err, well I don’t really know much about eyes. But one of the other doctors here is an eye man, he used to be work at the eye clinic, and he really knows his stuff. I’ll make you an appointment to see him.

WO: . o (WTF? I come in repeatedly with an EYE problem, I keep seeing you who knows nothing about eyes, and you guys had an eye doctor here all the time?) “Cool.

A new appointment is made with a new doctor for 4pm.

4:00 PM Doctor 2:

I turn up and wait, and wait, I then spot a doctor coming out the room I know is the one I have the appointment in. He walks over to receptionist and hands over a pile of medical notes/records then leaves the building. I just look about wondering if no one told him about the extra person he had to see at the end of the day.  I was just planning how to kidnap him in the car park when he came back in.

Now this doctor actually checked my eye, asked me questions, inserted a variety of bits of cardboard and paper into my eye to check things, and various other things. This beat my previous doctors method of going. “oh, you have a blood shot eye, conjunctivitis, take these drops!” He humms, and asks do I mind waiting back in the waiting room for a bit while he phones the eye-clinic. So I wait but I should get some answers……right?

After an hour in and out of the doctors office, I was asked did I mind rushing myself to A&E ASAP, do not pass go & do not collect $200. Well OK, that sounds bad, but the Hospital should give me some answers…..right?

So I shot off to the Hospital with a letter from the Doctor.

5:30 PM Hospital:

I arrive at A&E and give my name and address. The receptionist asks what the issue is, so I hand over my note from my doctor. She opens it and looks at page, turns it over and looks at back, turns it over and looks at the front, and then again the back. She puts it back into the envelope and asks “err so what’s the issue?“. I tell here dodgy eye and she sends me to another waiting room to wait for the triage nurse.

I get called up and sent into a small examination room. The triage nurse and another nurse come in with me and ask what seems to be the problem. Once again I hand over my note and the two of them look at the front, then the back, then the front, then the back. “err ok, I got about 4 words that I could read” says one, “I got part of his DOB” the other one adds. I get the note back and place it safely in my pocket to show my mother at some later date to prove my handwriting on the whole is not that bad.

Before we start I am given a form thing I have to fill in on abuse, bullying, etc. Questions like is anyone in your family physically abusing you, mentally abusing you, etc.  And what would you do if someone tried abusing you. I helpfully point out they missing the option “I’d rip out their spleen and wear it as a hat” and the two nurses back out of the room informing me someone will be along soon.

The waiting continues, and continues. The triage nurse pops into the room “Has anyone seen you yet?” “no” “good!” and pops out leaving me shall we say a tad bit confused. Luckily she popped back in to explain that they had got a phone call from one of the doctors from the eye clinic asking was I there, and not to see me because they were coming up to see me.

After a short wait I hear a Russian accent ask “where is he?” and a rather attractive, tall blonde woman in street clothes is standing by entrance to room.  The triage nurse walks up to her and points at me, then adds that there is a three year old in A&E with grit in his eye, and they would like her to have quick look at the kid. “No! I am here for him” *slaps paperwork in her hand* “Only Him!“. Woooooo Hoooooooo I think.

So I get examined, she curses loudly in her lovely accent that my doctors are all fools for diagnosing conjunctivitis all the times and giving me anti-biotics’.  She informs me that I have in fact got Iriitis, I will have drops to take for next 3 days, and I will see her again on Monday. (Score). It was at this point the nurses explained that pharmacy was closed for the night, so I would not be able to have prescription until the morning.

She looked at me, “One minute” and left the room. From down the corridor I could hear her accent as she informed the A&E doctors and nurses that I would have my prescribed medication tonight, even if one of them had to hand  write a prescription and run to the nearest Boots that was open and pick me some up. She walked back into the room to inform me with a smile “you will have your drugs!

I have to hand it to the A&E staff, they managed to scrounge up enough bits from different places to cover me until the morning when I would be able to come back to get full prescription filled.