Saturday evening I was at the Llannerch & Gredington Lodge’s Joint “Ladies Evening” in Llangollen. The evening was a formal event so the dress code was Dinner suits, dress shirts, bow-ties, the works. The majority of the evening was very enjoyable, with good company, great food, beer, etc. and Several hundred pounds were raised for charity just from raffle tickets alone.
In fact the evening was enjoyable right up until it was time to do the toasts, of which there were two. Firstly the Master of Llannerch got up to give a quick toast of “The Queen“. The other toast of the evening was “The Ladies” and was to be a longer toast more like a speech.
And which poor victim was designated with this responsibility?
Yes you guessed it, My good self!. Now I should take a second here to point out this was the first “Ladies Night” I had been to, and as such had never seen or heard a ladies toast before, so had no bearing to work from.
I should also point out I am a shy person, So standing up in front of over a hundred people who regularly attend such functions to perform the toast was terrifying. So I start into my spiel, and it seems to be going ok, the ladies present seem to be cheering, and agreeing with what I’m saying and “tutting” at their escorts, while the Men seem to be more growling at me, and denying things. Well I finished my bit and got to sit back down again.
The Toast:
Ladies and gentlemen, brethren and guests,
It is my honour and privilege, to give this the most important toast of the evening. To express on behalf of all the gentlemen present our deep appreciation of our Ladies. If you look in the dictionary, you will see the word appreciation is defined as “valuation at its true worth” or “being grateful for”. I sometimes wonder, brethren, if we always value the innumerable good qualities possessed by our ladies at their true worth, or indeed are truly grateful for them in our everyday lives.
It occurs to me sometimes, and this evening in particular, that we may not always be conscious of the great sacrifice made by our ladies in surrendering the pleasure of our company to the call of the Lodge: and this not only on Lodge nights, but also for Lodge of Instruction, visiting other Lodges, and so on.
This Ladies’ Night provides us with an opportunity to make some small amend for our neglect, and maybe to say a few of the flattering things which we too often omit on less glamorous occasions. So, I shall proclaim at once that woman is not man’s equal: she is his superior. What is more she looks his superior; for as my gaze wanders around the tables I am struck by the fact that all the ladies look so much younger and more beautiful than their escorts!
Gentlemen and brethren, we spend, it is true, many happy hours away from the company of our ladies, particularly on Masonic occasions, but how much happier we are in their company on a night like tonight! As mere men, we know we can never adequately repay our ladies for all they do for us, but we hope they will take the will for the deed and look upon this evening as some small recompense.
So, ladies, let me assure you on behalf of all the gentlemen present, that we admire you for your beauty, respect you for your intelligence, and love you for your virtue. That being the case, I shall now call upon all the gentlemen present to be upstanding and to drink a toast to the long life, health and happiness of THE LADIES.
Later on that evening while standing about drinking with a couple of other men I received death threats, and quotes like :-
- “How could you stand there and say those things!!! Don’t you realise what you’ve done???”
- “My wife wants breakfast in bed tomorrow now”
- “I have to get flowers after”
- “How you say that? what you doing??”
- “Don’t worry we’ll get him later“
I did point out to them that I am currently Single, and if they go and pick on a single bloke to make the ladies toast, then they have to expect to live with whatever damage he decides to cause. 🙂