Earlier today I was hurtling along a bypass on an emergency mission to acquire coffee — the kind of crisis that demands swift, decisive action.

There I was on a dual carriageway, approaching the section where the road very helpfully provides an entire forest of signs instructing you to get into the correct lane. Left lane peels off to a roundabout, right lane carries on. Simple. Elegant. Fool‑proof. Or so one would hope.

In the left lane: a van, indicating right. In the right lane: an estate car, indicating left. No traffic ahead of them. Plenty of space behind them (courtesy of me, being a considerate and patient soul). A straightforward manoeuvre. One speeds up, the other slows down, they swap, everyone goes home happy.

But no.

The van accelerated to get in front of the estate. The estate, apparently offended by this audacity, accelerated to get in front of the van. The van, equally unwilling to be bested, accelerated again. And so began the Great Lane‑Swap Duel of 2026, two vehicles locked in a petty, pointless drag race toward the point of no return.

And then — the inevitable. Both of them missed their turnings.

The van, realising its folly, had to peel off, loop around the roundabout, and rejoin the road. Mild inconvenience. A lesson learned, perhaps.

The estate, however, sailed majestically past its exit and was condemned to travel many, many miles before the next junction where it could finally turn around and contemplate its life choices.

So, Dear Reader, I put the question to you: Are we, as a species, getting dumber… or have we simply perfected the art of being ridiculous?