On my way home from work I stopped off at the local Co-Op for a loaf of bread. As I was leaving the store I spotted one of those people who like to hang out with clipboards and hassle ordinary folk as they try and go about their daily lives. My normal response to them is to give off a “Don’t even think about it” Vibe and walk right past without even acknowledging their existence.

As I got almost to the door the heavens opened with a torrential downpour. ‘Shit. I’m going to get drenched, maybe if I wait five min’s it will ease off’ I thought. So I smiled at the clipboard wielding woman and decided to help her out.

Woman: “Hi. Can you spare a bit of your time to help us out?”

WO: *looks out at rain* “why not… Go for it….”

Woman: “ok” *looks at survey form* “How often would you say you shop at this store? Daily? Several times a week? weekly? How often, roughly?”

WO: *starts counting on fingers, 1, 2, 3, 4….* “Roughly? Say once every five years”

Woman: *looks confused at form* “err. Ok. I’ll put down once a month. And why did you choose to shop at this store today? Price of Items? Availability? Good Parking, Size of store?”

WO: “There was a crash in Tesco’s car-park, I would have been ages trying to get in there to park!”

Woman: “errr….ummm… OK. if you do not mind me asking about how much was your shopping today?”

WO: *raises loaf and looks for price tag* “£1.40”

Woman: “Did you find the store had all the dairy products you wanted?”

WO: *Raises loaf and looks at it quizzically* “Not applicable”

Woman: “Did you find the store had all the meat products you wanted?”

WO: *Raises loaf and looks at it quizzically* “Not applicable”

Woman: *starting to look a bit confused* “Did you find the store had all the fresh baked products you wanted?”

WO: *Raises loaf and looks at it quizzically* “Bread counts as baked right? SO Yes”

Woman: “Did you find all the Beer or Spirits you ……”

WO: *Raises loaf and wiggles it*

Woman: “Right, I’ll just put not applicable to all these” *crosses off loads of entry’s on the form* “OK. as you were walking about the store today on a scale of 0-10 how did you find the amount of stuff on the shelves?”

WO: *Looks behind the Woman at the section of the store with completely empty shelves* “It’s probably not wise to ask that question while standing in front of the part the store where they are changing all the shelves around”

Woman: “err I’ll put Not applicable to that as well” *starts to randomly answer questions herself* “OK, were you able to find everything you wanted today?”

WO: *Raises loaf and pokes it* “YES!!! Yes I was!”

Woman: *slowly starting to back away from the entrance* “Thank you for your time… err its very important to us and we appreciate it… Have a good day… Bye!!”

WO: *Waves with the loaf of bread*

I think my feedback will be appreciated and help towards improving the store. I should have been paid. Or at least offered a 10% discount on my days shopping.