I got tagged in one of those blog-meme type things…

And since I always try to be as helpful as I can, I have decided to complete it.

So here goes nothing!

1. Are you a cat or dog or bird person? 

Dog person. Dog’s are cool, loyal, a man’s best friend. They go for walks with you, play fetch, and can do loads of fun things. Cats just sit and watch you, waiting for you to show the slightest sign of weakness and then they will pounce and eat your eyes!!!. And Birds? what use is a pet in a cage? Are Bird people just people with secret zoo owner fetishes? So defiantly Dogs…
(This answer was written of my own free will, and my dog in no means forced me into my answer)

 

2. What was your favorite food as a kid? Is it the same, or has it changed as an adult?

I can not remember?
Chips, Burger? No my mothers home made butterscotch flan thing.

And yes, it is still my favourite. I have a very sweet tooth.

 

3. What is your favourite hobby?

Reading, I love nothing more than setting into a good book.

Although I do love playing Games (I am a self-confessed gamer) so maybe I should have two answers Reading & Gaming.

Although I do like watching TV/Films, but not as much as Reading/Gaming. But then there is writing.

NO!!! I am decided my favourite hobby is Reading/Gaming.

 

4. If you HAD to move to a different state (or country) where would it be? 

Well If I had to move to a different country I think I would pick the States, they have all the best Conventions, and some places have decent weather. I am not sure which state I would pick? Since I have never yet been to the States so have nothing much to base my choices on.  Maybe I should play safe and stay in the UK, somewhere like Scotland or Ireland?

I think my answer would have to be based on the reason I had to move. If I am running from the Government I may need to move to a country without an extradition treaty with the UK.

 

5. Are you a winter or summer person?

That is a very hard question to answer.

There is nothing better than being indoors in front of a roaring fire either reading a good book, or enjoying good company while the outside is blanketed under thick snow. And you have to admit a blanket of snow makes even the most run-down environment look wonderful.  So my answer should be Winter.

But… In the summer you have the warmth, the light, women wear a hell of a lot less *eyebrow wiggle*. So summer has its advantages, so….  

If you were to threaten me at gunpoint to pick just one answer, I would probably stab you in the eye with a pencil, and then move to one of the places I mentioned in question 4. Nothing personal you understand but I do not like being threatened at gunpoint!. err oh the question. I will have to go Winter.

 

6. What makes you happy? 

To crush my enemies — See them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women!

 

7. What is the weirdest question you’ve ever been asked?

I was once asked by a stranger “Hi, are you the person I promised a chocolate covered dog treat too?”

That is a true story. A large group of us were going out for drinks on the eve of Christmas Eve, and someone I had never met came up to me holding a wrapped Christmas gift and asked that question.

 

8. If you had to go on an adventure, with elves, dwarves, or hobbits, who would you take and why?

Since there does not seem to be a limit on the number of people I can take with me in my party.

For wisdom and magical backup :-
Gandalf, Dumbledore, Vanyel, Dr Strange, Ged, Merlin, Raistlin Majere & Harry Dresden.

For muscle and fighting :-
Achilles, Lancelot, Elric, Geralt, Conan, Aragon, The Hulk, Superman, & Batman.

And I guess for research, stores, and improvised equipment :-
McGyvur, The Mythbusters, Sherlock, Hermione & R2D2.

Oh and you always need the one comic relief person :-
Deadpool!

 

9. You are at a rural retreat lodge somewhere deep in Wisconsin or Canada. You are approached by a taxidermist who hands you a stuffed badger and asks you to put it in your lap. What do you do next?

I would start by wondering just what kind of retreat I was in where random taxidermists wander about with stuffed badgers.

If the taxidermist was a man I would probably ask him what he was up to and depending on his answer comply or not.

BUT if said taxidermist was female I would wink and say “of course you can rest your stuffed beaver on my lap but what shall we do with the badger?”

 

10. What was your first job?

Apprentice Electrician, I went from school to training to become an Electrician.

 

11. What is your favorite utensil?

I take back my answer for Question 7. This is possibly the weirdest question I have even been asked, with that stuffed badger one coming in at second place.

Ok favourite utensil…
I guess I would have to go with…

The Dragon Throne!!!! Ha, did not see that one coming did you? Now before you start protesting the Dragon Throne which was the rhetorical seat of power in the Empire of China is also called the divine utensil. “Boom, headshot“

 

Last weekend I found a Questionnaire Meme thing. Basically it was 50 Random Questions which I answered over the two days of the weekend, and I thought I would share it here.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

UG!… Need coffee. Also I should Shave.

2. How much cash do you have on you?

On my person?

Zero. I emptied my pockets when I got back from the Supermarket, and I have no cash on me, since it is all over there *POINTS*…

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?

Whore!

Don’t judge me!!!!

4. Favorite planet?

I am going to say Pluto. Because Pluto will always be a planet to me, and you other Hipster planets who won’t let Pluto into your group can kiss Pluto’s rocky arse!

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

My Office Phone. I believe I was testing some forwarding rules.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

Well My ring tone is currently “Nerds are King by SFO” But I fancy changing it to Dance Macabre. 

7. What shirt are you wearing?

2600, HOPE t-shirt

8. Do you label yourself?

I tried to label myself once, but the labels kept falling off and then my boss shouted I was wasting all the labels from the label maker. ;-(

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?

I have no idea. 

10. Bright or Dark Room?

Depends on what I am doing. But I would go more for the Dark room, I am a Goth you know.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?

What? You mean I am not the first?

12. What does your watch look like?

Which one? I have a silver pocket watch for formal wear, 3 fancy wrist watches, and even an Android watch that controls my phone (Geeky!!)

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Watching Criminal Minds. And wanting the computer set-up the analyst has.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

“She lending Georgia money lol. I can pick it up later if u got it? I need her jar money too!! chocking on nut! Dad told g she was drunk x”

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?

No idea, Do not think we have 7-11′s in Wales. Nearest convenience store is in Rhosllanerchrugog, which is about a mile that way *POINTS*.

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?

the

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?

I have no idea. I honestly can not remember.

And now I haz all the feels.

18. Last furry thing you touched?

My Dog Max.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

Caffeine (LOTS) Alcohol (Moderate)

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?

One that I recently found in a draw that must be 11+ years old. I tend to use digital cameras.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?

25. Well mid 20′s really. 

22. Your worst enemy?

All those people who are stopping me from fulfilling my primary goal in life. The total domination of the world. They are my enemies and they will all fail, once my orbiting space laser is complete they shall all bow down before me!!!!!

23. What is your current desktop picture?

Well Since I am typing this on my laptop, I guess we will go with that its a yellow cross and bones hackers wall paper.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?

“wooo, hold up, you phoned the wrong Wayne again.”

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

A million pounds please. Flying would grow old, and how far could you travel really? and carry stuff? A million pound would make me much happier!

26. Do you like someone?

I do not like anyone.

I am a grump old man, and you people can get off my Internet now!!!

27. The last song you listened to?

“your friend Wil” By MC Frontalot

28. What time of day were you born?

LOL. Are you taking the piss or what? Narrow the time of my birth to an actual time? or part of the day?

I know I was born sometime between the start of October 31st and the end of November 2nd. I am not sure of the actual day I was born on, let alone time of day. ;-(

29. What’s your favorite number?

42

30. Where did you live in 1987?

Maes Teg, Pen-Y-Cae, Rhosllanerchrugog

31. Are you jealous of anyone?

Yes. Wil Wheaton whose job is to play games with cool people. That is his job people, HIS JOB!!! 

32. Is anyone jealous of you?

I do not know. Maybe people are Jealous of my extremely high IQ, or my total awesomeness, or maybe my fantastic Modesty? I do not know, Some have claimed Jealousy over my flirting with celebrities on Twitter, but..

I doubt anyone is jealous of me.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

I was on a training course, I got a text saying “GET NEWS ON NOW” and I was able to get online and watch what was happening.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?

Cry Havok and let loose the hounds of war!

Or, calmly look at the machine, and use secret Ninja-Hacker ways of getting my money back, or the item I was trying to purchase.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?

Yes, but at the same time No!

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?

A cool dragon on my shoulder. Since I’ve been using Dragons as online Avatars since the very early 90′s.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?

Japanese.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?

Yes.

39. Are you touchy feely?

Not normally, but when in love, Yes.

40. What’s your life motto?

I have many. In fact there used to be a Website of “Pen’s Laws”

• • • It aint easy being an egomaniac with an inferiority complex
    • If you are not living life on the edge, you are taking up to much space.
    • Do unto others as they would do unto you. But do it first!
    • Rules are made to be broken.
    • If they are under 16 they are protected by law, Over 60 by Nature, anything in between is fair game.
    • The rat race is mainly for rats, so make sure you are the person in the white coat. Its a lot less stressful.
    • Try anything at least once..
    • Don’t get Mad. Get Even!!
    • When Threatened do the opposite of what they want.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

Phone, Swiss-army Key, Glasses

42. What’s your favourite town/city?

Birmingham?

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

Cornish Pasty & a coffee (Just got back from the Ponderosa)

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Write? Paper & Pen? Sheesh? That would be, 1997/98 Ish and it was a letter to a friend in Staff’s Uni.

We are in the email era now!

45. Can you change the oil on a car?

Yes. I have a Degree in Electrical & Electronic Engineering, I am a highly Qualified Electrician, I once stripped and rebuilt a Motorbike, after a fire based incident!

I can do the Engineering things when I have to. But normally get a mechanic to do the work for me.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?

She got married.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?

A long way back. My ancestors come from a small part of Wales that was thrice cursed by Monks, and is described in a papal decree as the most unholiest place on earth.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?

Err, Last Monday I was in full suit & waistcoat, etc at the Installation meeting of the Holy Royal Arch Chapter I am a member of.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

Nope. Not a thing.

50. Have you been burned by love?

Yes, Both emotionally, and Physically (there was a candle based incident!)

1. Do you collect anything? If so, what?

Good Question Wayne. Do I collect anything? Does the broken dreams and crushed souls of people who have upset me count? No? Ok Then I do not collect anything, well apart from Books, Computer Games, Knives, Dice (New one I just decided), And timelords.

2. Coffee or tea?

Coffee!!!! for Tea is the most foulest creation every created by Man!!! err, apart from that Justin Beaver kid. Ok Tea is the second foulest thing created By Mankind… Apart from Reality TV… Ok, Tea is the third foulest thing… Oh Screw It. the answer is COFFEE!!!!

3. Which of these things would you find hardest to give up for a year? Chocolate, reading, coffee or smoking?

Well I do not smoke so that would be the easiest to give up for a Year. Chocolate would be next easiest.. Ok so it comes down to Reading or Coffee. Now I did give up coffee for a while once, until several Co-Workers forced me to restart for Health & Safety concerns. Hum? Can I still drink highly caffeinated drinks? Also. How come decaffeinated is a word but according to my spell check caffeinated is not??

4. What is the first word that comes into your mind when you see the word “tree”?

KILL!!!

Well in fairness, that’s always the first word that pops into my head in relation to everything. I am very much a Shoot first, Stab later kind of guy!

5. Who is number one on your “allowed list”?

I am Single *BIG SIGH* *Slight Tear* So technically every woman I fancy is on my “Allowed List”. And If I was taken then I would not have a list because I am a very faithful and loving person *Looks Around and thinks This should help with the ladies!*

6. Where in the world would you like to visit and why?

An off-license. Basically because I have no beer, and I want beer. So I would like to visit an off-license and get some beer. Or maybe ComicCon? Or DefCon, Or BlackHat, HoPE, Pax… They do have Beer at cons right???

7. If you could do any job in the world what would it be?

Felicia Days Husband. That’s a Job right? Oh maybe I should have put Her as top of my allowed list. Nah, I like my answer to that question, and besides I have already answered it and I can not go back and change my mind because time travel has not yet been invented.

8. Do you prefer to be totally organised or to “wing it”, or are you somewhere in between?

“Wing it” every time. Although I believe the “technical” term for my actual system is “Making it up as I go along!”. You see I am really really crap at making plans or organising myself. I keep stating I need an Intern, PA, Slave or partner to keep me organised and productive. Without one I just get too easily distracte

9. Which Invention would you really like to see Invented and why?

Time travel. It would be so COOL!!! you could go back and see how the pyramids, stonehenge, and the dead sea were built. You could witness life changing events, win on every rollover lottery there has ever been. And MOST of all, I could go back in time and change my answer to question 5.

10. Do you realise you spelled distracted wrong in your answer to Question 8.

I did? Man, sorry about that I got distracted by this AWESOME thing and lost my train of thought. Tell you what, when I get my time machine I will finish off the answer to Question 8 on my way back to change my answer to Question 5. Deal?

11. What did you want to be when you grow up?

I never planned on growing up. And to date I still have not really. I figure something cool would be err cool? or failing that maybe something where I use my mind for the betterment of mankind. I know. World leader. I think that would be a good job for me.

Greetings and Salutations

I decided to write you a letter, and this is it. Yes this —-=> here <=—-

So… The letter… How shall I begin?…

Let me count the ways I could begin.

1. Dear You
2. Oi Mush
3. Ewwo
4. Greetings and salutations
5. Time for tubby bye bye??

But all these ways are just academic since I started with Greetings and Salutations at the top of the sheet of paper… So. Big Fuck Off Opening… Dum-De-Dum… Right, The letter…

Nope. It’s Gone, I can’t think of anything to write. My mind is blank, its as empty as a big empty container that’s totally empty. In the words of the poet, “I’m hanging from a cobweb in my mind, and I’m staring at a long way down.” I know, I’ll sing to myself and see if that help.

(Short Break While We Sing The Halloween Song)

OK. Back. Did you miss me? I missed me, but I’ve reloaded now and I don’t plan to miss me with my next shot. Want to come to my funeral? You welcome to come, but you have to dress as a small furry rodent.

Woo. Page two. I really should start the letter now, there is only so much gibbering that I can put down before you’ll decide to kill me… and I know you. You will kill me, cos. you hate me, really hate me, killed my babies and everything. So, without further ado I’ll start the letter…

But before I do. I just got to share the lyrics that were just sung “One minute you’re a looker who looked, and the next you’re a hooker who’s hooked” they don’t make songs like that any more… Probably for a reason!!!

I was going to do this letter carrying on from the last set of comments, but how do you reply to an insane person… you are mad… your comments prove it… just total inane ramblings, hum? I can just do total insane ramblings. Yes! That’s it, this letter will contain not one piece of sense. So, all I need now is a topic matter, and I know just the way to get it.

(Pause In Letter As The Good Catholic Boy Author Goes To SMS Someone for a Topic)

Back again and I now have a topic to talk about, yes we will discus the merits of “Glow In The Dark Sunglasses” Now personally I think that’s a brilliant idea. We all know how great sunglasses are from protecting the eyes from the harmful effects of sunlight. But a pair of sunglasses that protected the eyes from the harmful affects of glow in the dark stuff (Glow Sticks for example) well that would be a very handy thing for people to have, would make the world a much better place.  Forget Work! I’m going to make my fortune with “glow in the dark sunglasses”!!!

Bored Now!

Well it was a good idea, but I really was hoping you’d give me a topic that I could ramble on about for ages, but NO! You had to give me glow in the dark sunglasses! What am I supposed to do with an idea like that? I have no idea…

I really hope you can actually read this writing (please pretend I’m writing this to you with a real pen and everything. I feel it makes it more personal) cos. I’m not sure I can. Its like all scribbled up. Its spider scrawl, like a spider stepped into a tiny puddle of ink and walked all over a piece of paper leaving spider scribbles behind…

So. Big fuck off ending… how do we end, how do we start? That’s a bit deep and meaningful for this letter and especially this time of night so I’ll answer those and other questions like :-

1. Who was that masked man?
2. Is the Demonpengu an alien lifeform?
3. Is the YoYoMan a lifeform?
4. What is that strange growth there?
5. Will I ever make sense?

Yes all these and other questions will be answered on the next instalment of “There’s nothing in wayne’s head”. Take care. You all drive safe, good night, and remember, if you’re in a different zip code it didn’t happen…

Yours in need of a new mind
ME!!

I have seen this on multiple friends LiveJournal’s, and other places all over the internet.

It looks nice, simple and safe. So the idea is, you type “[your name] likes to” into Google and list ten things the Internet thinks you like to do.

Oh but it gets worrying! There are some very strange Wayne’s out there, and they are not all me!

Wayne likes to relax by seducing pensioners.
Wayne likes to go deeper.
Wayne likes to eat his meals from a dog dish with chop sticks.
Wayne likes to rub fabulous feasts in the faces of the uninvited.
Wayne likes to say that his job is to help people catch fish by design, not by accident.
Wayne likes to say, “We’re in the business of helping others help others.”
Wayne likes to share his knowledge with others.
Wayne likes to hang out behind the band overlooking the DuPont Circle underpass.
Wayne likes to challenge his audiences to think outside the norm and to truly consider how and why they operate the way they do.

I think only 1 of them may apply to me. You can try and guess which one.

1. Elaborate on your default icon.
Which one is my default Icon? Can’t remember, Hang on one second I’ll go check….
“Intermission”
Ah its that one… I generally use a dragon based name/logo and that is just one of the
Dragon logo’s I use, I believe its the one I use for Dragon Code.

2. What’s your current relationship status?
Sadly Single. Due to never being able to find an intelligent, beautiful woman with a great
personality (Curse my look of living in the Wrexham area.)

3. Ever have a near-death experience?
Err, not that I am aware of, I have had my past flash before my eyes as I was in a serious
car crash, but all I remember of that is realizing I was in a smashed up car, and saying
“weeee Can I do that again!!!”

4. Name an obvious quality you have.
Brilliant Mind. That I never really make use of.
EDIT:: I have just been informed my best feature is my Sarcasm

5. What’s the name of the song that’s stuck in your head right now.
Witchcraft by Wonderwall. due to it being played 4 times this morning.

6. Name a celebrity you would marry:
Errr. Sheesh.. I not know…

• Kate Beckinsdale
• Jewel Staite
• Claudia Black
• Lexa Doig
• Eliza Dushku

7. Who will cut and paste this first?
No one because only one likely to do it is and he has already done it.

8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
I am a celebrity, and people have been told they look like me, does that count?
Err, I was told I look like Michael Jackson, Which I took as an Insult!
And I was told I look like a character from a book, and the drawings of him on the cover.
EDIT:: I was also told I looked like a young Stephen King, and Wiz from the wizbiz books

9. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
Occasionally a pocket watch, silver on a chain…

10. Do you have anything pierced?
No

11. Do you have any tattoos?
No. Still not found the right dragon drawing…

12. Do you like pain?
Apart from sadomasochists does anyone actually like pain?

13. Do you like to shop?
Yes, but online, or out of normal hours, I hate crowds, and queuing! But like getting new stuff.

14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
A can of coke I just drank.

15. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
Petrol

16. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
Tim the Director about a script for poaching domain names.

17. What is on your desktop background?
Gray Background
Blue Background
Black Background
Black Background
Depending which Desktop I in front off..

18. What is the background on your cell phone?
Err its called steel, but looks like a plant pot with a plant in it. Don’t ask, it came with the phone.

19. Do you like redheads?
If they are cute, nice, and don’t shout insults at me from the window of a Taxi..

20. Do you know any twins?
Yes, they were born on Feb 29th, and very weird!!

21. Do you have any weird relatives?
I am the weird relative!!!!

22. What was the last movie you watched?
Superman Returns

23. What was the last book you read?
Finished would be “The Traveler” (Real book) and Gibsons Neuromancer (eBook) but there are currently half a dozen in the progress of being read by me.. I just don’t get the time as much as I would like.