During my commute this morning, I was minding my own business happily singing along with the radio…

When out of the blue, and with no warning whatsoever the radio made an announcement. There was no slow build up, no trigger warnings, or anything. They just blurted it out heedless of the damage they could cause.

I  ALMOST crashed!

“Apparently” due to the heat they’re suggesting a max of TWO cups of coffee (or tea) ALL DAY!

Is that even humanly possible?

I need 2 mugs just to get to work. I can not survive a whole day on just 2 cups of coffee.

I should rephrase that. Everyone else can not survive if I only have 2 cups of coffee a day!!

Yesterday I got home to find a package waiting for me. I’d like to say I calmly opened it to see what it contained but who am I kidding. I ripped it open like a child at Christmas.

Inside I found a Bag of coffee. But not any old coffee, no, a bag of Kopi’s Diamond Jubilee Special Edition coffee.

I’m looking forward to trying this later as the description sounds good (I‘ll post it at the bottom of this post) And it was very nice of the guys at KOPI to send me this, But I must admit their view of “A months supply of Coffee” does not quiet tally up with what we at the Ninja Temple consider a months supply.

But then again, maybe the average person does not mainline it with a IV feed.

Indian Plantation AA Little Flower

Mild, elegant flavours from one of India’s most prestigious plantations.

There’s no doubt Little Flower is an Indian Coffee. The Wet aroma is of molasses and toffee with a hint of cinnamon, and there’s a slight tamarind sharpness to the finish.

Time to get the pot on…..

There should be a form of Caffeine-Breathalyser fitted to all computers that prevent incoming emails unless the operator has a sufficient amount of caffeine in their system to cope with lUsers.

For my example I shall use my morning.

9am: Get into office, log into everything, say good morning to fellow staff, people on the internet, go grab a coffee. (1st work coffee off day)

9:45: Check emails (Caffeine levels too low) Receive email from “FFS”. Email basically states with lots of SHOUTY emphasis that I have not set up a live & development server correctly, and have set both to be same machine, with no access to development one, The email then goes on to list the server specs at me.

Now. This is where the caffeine lockout should have been enforced. Unfortunately, due to this IMPORTANT piece of IT hardware not yet being invented, there was nothing preventing me replying to the email, and CC’ing the MD of FFS in as well for good measure. Basically pointing out the ineptitude of the developer emailing me, and the fact he has no clue as to what he is doing, did not bother checking, or doing anything before disturbing me in an aggressive manner. It was a work of pre-caffeine level Rant-Art.

10:16: MD of FFS emails a groveling apology.

Please, will someone invent the “Caffeinalizer cutout”!